Bad day at the office

Sometimes, a photo and headline just match like the pieces of a Rolex® watch.

About the only thing good about the above screenshot from cnn.com is the likely sense of satisfaction of the news editor when he/she realized they had the perfect combination of headline and photo.

President Bush couldn't give a more telling expression - only, "Mr. President, the Chinese have advanced as far as Salt Lake City" could be worse.

New! Microsoft Irony®

The screenshot above is from a Microsoft® Press site that shows their new "I'm a PC!" television ads.

I tried to watch the commercials, but a little pop up window proclaimed that the Microsoft software called "Silverlight" needed to be updated because it had bugs.

(sound of breathing through gaping mouth.)

This is like going to Burger King, having the clerk hand you your order only to pull it back, open the wrapper and say, "Ooops!  E-coli!  Better get you another one!"

Why not Fatt Butte?

The graphic above is a screenshot from the Kohls department store website - it shows the logo of the common clothing line, "Sag Harbor."

A sadvertising reader (a woman) asked, "Why on earth would a company want to name a woman's clothing line Sag Harbor?!"

After some thought, she has a point - it's a rather unlovely name for women's fashion. Perhaps the creators were going for a rustic, colloquial sound, evoking images of sea breezes, soft clangs of sailboat bells, gulls overhead and happy pipe-smoking fishermen tossing their bags onto the dock in eager anticipation of their beautiful lasses who are "cookin' up a pot of her delicious chowder..."

Dunno. But it's just as likely as those sailors chiding the new mates on the boat, "No young wenches fer ya'here, laddy! This be SAG harbor!" (the wise old salts knock back a hearty laugh while the young ones blush...

Kind of like naming a men's clothing line, "Little Falls."

Oh well. Thanks to the Sadvertising reader for the idea. However, if they ever branch into women's accessories, the purse below seems to be a perfect fit!


Photo©Bulga

All-Bran, All-Fiber, All Powerful. I bet.

The photo above is a case box for Kelloggs All-Bran® cereal.

All-Bran cereal is, of course "all bran."    So, what's the story behind the addition of "extra fiber"?  I shudder to think of WHY anyone would want Extra Fiber in their All-Bran - probably the same people who knock back a glass of pure Grain Alcohol and think it lacks "kick."

But then again, All-Bran with Extra Fiber is like the devil's drink in that Kelloggs assumes that the eater have a certain tolerance to the cereal's post-ingestive effects - All-Bran with Extra Fiber is "better if used before."

Ha ha.

For Serious Travelers.

The ad above was provided by a new reader of Sadvertising - it's scanned from the August 2008 issue of Smithsonian Magazine.  

Wow. Takes a lot of hutzpah to write a headline like that - considering all the government warnings about going there and all. 

Oh well.  According to the company, "Serious Traveler," Iran must be a place for Serious Travelers.

"You want to go to Iran?!"

"Yeah."

"You SERIOUS?!?"

"Yeah!"

"Then...welcome aboard!..."

When I think of a "Serious Traveler" going into Iran, I'm thinking 3am helicopter drops and all of my travel gear packed into a bandolier of ammo.

Nevertheless, according to the photo on the ad, the "Serious Traveler" company did make a successful insertion into Iran in 2007 where they intercepted three little girls wearing white hoods.  They smiled for the camera - somehow the film got out.  Hope everyone's ok...

Anyway, back to the headline, you'd think a progressive, adventurous company like Serious Traveler could do better.  In the spirit of fair play, the following are suggested...

I CAME, I SAW, IRAN.

or

HAD SO MUCH FUN, IRAN BACK!

or

IRAN. SO FAR AWAY?

or

IRAN.  (serpentine fashion, until I jumped behind a knoll for cover!)

he he.

I bet Iran's more fun than DisneyLand, however.  Dinner with fairies and poofy princesses...(shudder).

Apple Computer's newest TV spot.

The YouTube link above takes you to Apple Computer's newest TV Spot.

Apple's advertising team has hired Jerry Seinfeld and a Bill Gates look-alike to mock Microsoft's arrogance by portraying Microsoft as a company of "everyday people" who buy uncomfortable shoes.

Seinfeld does a brilliant job at portraying an insipid idiot who encourages Bill to buy ill fitting shoes and shower fully dressed! (hysterically funny!) Bill, of course, thinks showering with his clothes on is silly and gives Jerry a less-then-amused look (the actor portraying Bill Gates is fantastic).

Curiously, a hispanic family (eating junk food) appear to be fans of ill fitting shoes, too - is Apple being racist? Hmmmm.

Anyway, at the end, "Bill Gates" wiggles his butt (sooo funny!) and Jerry Seinfeld is promised a computer that he can eat.

Great ad, Apple. You've poked fun at Microsoft's stodginess, myopia, cheapness, unwillingness to recognize its own blunders and embarrassed one of the world's richest men.

EDIT: Oh. I guess Apple didn't produce the spot. Microsoft did. Yikes.

Holy Cr*p - the copy stinks!

The above scan was taken from the September issue of Good Housekeeping (or one of those 'women's magazines' that occupy the rack at the health club). The ad is for Scott brand Toilet Paper.

An angelic fish is an interesting way to sell toilet paper. The mystical mackerel might have been a fun concept had the copywriter and art director not sent the concept down the drain.

Not to be crude here, but the photo is illustrating an event where someone looks down and is alarmed or excited by (a'hem) something. Sweet jiminy - can you imagine ANY commode-bound situation that would cause anyone to exclaim, "Holy Mackerel!"?!?  

You try it. Try to conjure something up in your imagination that would incite such a weird utterance.  You know what would make me say it?  A freaking Piranha! Or maybe a little man in a boat looking up and waving. Or maybe...bah!  

If you're on the toilet, and you shout, "Holy Mackerel!" chances are, it's not a good situation!

But wait - we're supposed to read the copy! (whew!) "The surprising softness of this product may make you shout "Holy Mackerel!" Should the devout fish materialize in your bathroom, Scott® Extra Soft not responsible for resulting mystical fish babble."

My guess is that this ad was a last rush-job on the account.  The awkward grammatical error in the fourth line seems to argue for a "no-time-to-proofread-gotta-go-now" scenario.  So too, the clumsy combination of photography and illustration.  Oh well.  Now, every time I pass the TP aisle at the store I'll think of Scott Toilet Paper and a dead fish.

We should be glad the copywriter write,  "Holy Cr*p!" 

PS - the fish should have been a Crappie instead of a Mackerel.

PSS - sadvertising readers respond:  "Should have been "Holy Carp!" and "Honey!  Call the Guiness Book of World Records!"   Send your resumes to Scott Toilet Paper...

Thank Gawd I found my cell phone!

The above photo was captured this morning with my cell phone camera. Normally, I don't find my cell phone until the day's over, but today, it was right there. It's a ritual - lose my cell phone, find my cellphone, lose it, find it, lose it, find it, lose it, buy another...

Anyway.

Poking fun at churches isn't my thing, but this billboard is too interesting to ignore. The headline, "Searching for something? Join us!" is either a regrettable mistake or bold admission.

Imagine walking into the sanctuary on Sunday morning, hundreds of heads turn over their shoulders to watch you pad down the aisle - furrowed brows and expressions of deep concern mask the faces of the faithful. You holler, "Have you found it yet?!" The congregation responds (in unison), "No! Join us!"

"Well, I'm just lookin' for my cell phone! Seen it?!" You holler back.

he he he.

I hope this headline gets discovered. And replaced.

ADDITION: Thanks to a sadvertising reader who wondered, "What happens if they find it?" Well now, that's a GOOD question! I would imagine they'll do what people usually do - start another church. Or a war. Or a conference. Or maybe the pastor will tell the congregation to "Shhhh! Let's keep it a secret!" and quietly take the billboard down. Then, refer everyone to the Unitarian Church down the street.

"Nothing to see here. Move along. There you go...keep moving..."

An honest photo shoot.

The other day, we had a photoshoot for a restaurant chain. While we're setting up the first shot - a huge plate of sumptuous, tasty, yummy stuff - the client looks up at me and says, remember, the customer has to have a decent chance of getting what we're advertising.

Here's a big salute to our client for caring enough about its customers to ensure that they get what they pay for...and not a bunch of glossy-photo idealism that ultimately leaves a person more unsatisfied.

Old fuel - not that there's anything wrong with that.

The above graphic is a can of "Gay Fuel" - a failed energy-drink, targeted at the...well, Gay Community. As I'm not in the product's target market, news of "Gay Fuel" took a while to trickle down to me.

Gay Fuel was real. Gay Fuel also fell limp.

Though the specifics of why Gay Fuel sales couldn't perform aren't known, it appears that the creators made one of the few but key errors in naming - being TOO specific. The gay/lesbian/transgendered/?? "community" has been labeled since time began; why on earth would they want to walk around with a tacky can?!

"Hey. You must be gay."

"Why yes, I am! How could you tell?"

"You're drinking Gay Fuel!"

(looks at can.) "Why, yes! I am!"

"Now, you must be REALLY gay!"

"Now that I finally have fuel, I feel Gayer than EVER!"

Silly, really. Of course, no "sillier" than PIMP Juice.


(pause for wide eyed stare of horror)

Can you imagine what would have happened if someone would have combined the TWO?!? RUN. FOR. THE. HILLS!!



AND WHAT ABOUT RED BULL?!?!?!? AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHH!!!