Thursday, October 30, 2008

OoooOO-OOOOO-OOOoooOO! - Watch more free videos

A sadvertising reader brought this interesting Tarzan Toy to attention. It's a real toy from Mattel, marketed a circa 1998ish.

It's "Rad Repeatin' Tarzan!"

And from judging the video, we're enlightened as to the meaning behind Tarzan's mighty cry...and why Tarzan prefers to spend so much time alone in the jungle.

If I were in the Focus Group (of course this product went through rigorous consumer testing before launching, right?), I'd have gone with "Vine Swingin' Tarzan" instead of "Rad Repeatin'" - all that "Repeatin'" and he'll be blind in no time!

Monday, October 27, 2008


Whatever your political poison, maybe this desktop "Wallpaper" will summarize your thoughts on this year's election.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

You ain't Dainty. You jus' dum!

The ad above was ripped out of a Popular Mechanics magazine I found last week in an office lobby. The ad is for Dinty Moore canned stew, and part of their "You ain't dainty..." campaign. Presumably, the campaign is targeted towards men who want a hearty, big meal. There are a bunch of these ads - clever, funny pictures that show men in bigger-than-reality situations.

My guess is that the intended response would be, "He he. Funny ad. But Dinty Moore must be a He-Man stew! Next time I want a He-Man stew, I'm looking for Dinty Moore!"'s the rub. The man in the ad is a bloomin' idiot. Two seconds after that plunger drops, the more "dainty" guy trimming hedges is going to be plucking body parts off the house with rubber gloves.

The headline should read, "You ain't dainty.  You'gonna be DEAD."

Note the ad ran in Popular Mechanics - definitely a "guy" magazine.  But PM readers aren't dumb.  Knowing a little bit about the magazine's demographic, I'd bet a huge proportion of them saw the ad, remembered the inevitable story of some Darwin-award candidate and thought, "What an idiot."

Realizing this critique may come off like a killjoy, bear it in mind and watch advertising - you may be surprised at how often men, especially those who pursue traditionally masculine endeavors (like removing stumps!) are portrayed as simian-brained dolts.

Too bad Dinty Moore forgot that advertising is supposed to align customers and incite them to buy.  Instead, the star of this ad will likely end UP as stew.  Or at least look like it.

KaBOOF!  (insert sound effects of hunks of fat and protein raining down from above)  Yuummm-mmEE!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

"These pants are made for kickin' (sung to These Boots are Made for Walkin')

The ads above are for Chuck Norris "Action Jeans." Yeah, they're rather dated, but a respected Sadvertising reader fairly demanded that they be examined.

Advertising is essentially a fashion industry. Words, colors, shapes - they all evolve. That being stated, there's nothing notably amusing about these ad's dated style.  In fact, Chuck Norris looks surprisingly cool considering these ads are 20th Century vintage!

But while advertising trends come and go, the messages they convey are a timeless insight into the accepted mind of the buyer, and the buyers of Action Jeans are definitely looking for "WHOP!  WHAP!  Kaaaa-POW!" Action!

Putting it another way, these are the jeans you wear when you want to kick someone in the face!  No more round-house kicks to the crotch that end up in an embarrassing rip in the butt - Action Jeans let the wearer go full-on to jaw-breaking!

"Hey, Gary - remember that time you'n me went out to do a little ass-kickin' and you ended up ripping your new Levi's?" (laughs)

"Do I!  I'll never be able to set foot in the Rusty Nail again!  But no more, now that we're wearin' Action Jeans!  Hey!  It's ladies night at Lucky's  - what do you say we head  over and defend someone's honor?!"

It's rather staggering to think about how many would-be warriors were set back because, "...dang!  These Levi's just won't let me hit anything higher than a crotch!"

Undoubtedly, Action Jeans equalized parking lot brawls all across America.   It's probably just a matter of time until these things go the way of the switchblade or 15-round clip.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Those silly space-cadets at Lincoln...

The spot above is for Lincoln's new Whatever. "Whatever"? Well, I wish I remembered what the car is, but frankly, I'm jaw-dropped at the spot.

Play it.

For anyone under 40, the tune is "Major Tom" by David Bowie. It's about an astronaut that gets marooned in space because his spaceship failed.


"HelloOOoo, EARTH to LINCOLN, EARTH to LINCOLN...(static) COME IN LINCOLN...customers (static) don't like to be...marooned..."

And if that isn't a crappy song to launch a car-brand, the astronaut dies in the end!

Sweet jiminy - the first time one of these new-fangled Lincolns short-circuits in the middle of nowhere, "Major Tom" is going to be calling a tow truck, and he's probably going to sound a little more excited than the hypoxia-drunk women singing the spot.

The slogan is clueless - "Boot up, lift off"...and presumably, take your chances in the great void ahead.  Just like Major Tom.

In the meantime, here are the lyrics to "Space Oddity" by David Bowie
(bold italics, mine)

Ground Control to Major Tom
Ground Control to Major Tom
Take your protein pills and put your helmet on

Ground Control to Major Tom
Commencing countdown, engines on
Check ignition and may God’s love be with you

Ten, Nine, Eight, Seven, Six, Five, Four, Three, Two, One, Lift-off

This is Ground Control to Major Tom
You’ve really made the grade
And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear
Now it’s time to leave the capsule if you dare

“This is Major Tom to Ground Control
I’m stepping through the door
And I’m floating in a most peculiar way
And the stars look very different today

For here
Am I sitting in a tin can
Far above the world
Planet Earth is blue
And there’s nothing I can do

Though I’m past one hundred thousand miles
I’m feeling very still
And I think my spaceship knows which way to go
Tell my wife I love her very much (she knows!)
Ground Control to Major Tom
Your circuit’s dead, there’s something wrong
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear....

“ am I floating round my tin can
Far above the Moon
Planet Earth is blue
And there’s nothing I can do.?

(Thank you to sadvertising reader "Mike" for the info)

Friday, October 17, 2008

Operators are standing buy.

The above screenshot is of the Giant Sunflower Seed company's website. In case you're not a connoisseur of sunflower seeds, "Giants" are big sunflower seeds. The website is workmanlike - laying out their case for the feature/benefits of their "GIANT" seeds.

However, Giant Sunflower seed customers appear to be a rather quirky group. Apparently, Giant Sunflower Seeds saw the need to provide their customers "LIVE HELP."

At first, the gesture of live people, waiting to help Giants Sunflower Seed customers is noble. But...why? About the only food I can imagine that would require "LIVE HELP" is perhaps butchering a cow or maybe after eating suspect mushrooms.

But sunflower seeds!? Maybe first-time buyers don't know what to do with them - which would actually be a tremendous acknowledgement of the Giants brand - their product/packaging/placement may be so compelling, purchases are made without any clue what to do next.

"Hey honey, what'cha got there?"

"Dunno. I just bought them at the store."

"Huh! They sure look peculiar. Do they have a website?"

"Hmmmm...why, yes! Let's go check'em out!...look! They have LIVE HELP!"


Of course, every time I've checked, the LIVE HELP is "Offline."

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Music to Recession By...

Way back in the 70's - the United States experienced an economic recession. Taxes were nasty, prices grew faster than income and interest was so high, banks had in-house "day cares" where parents would leave their children until loans were paid. The kids worked in the back rooms counting change, cleaning after hours...just kidding.

Anyway, with all this talk about economic collapse, this fantastic clip from the recording family, "The Rhodes Kids" should make you feel rich. At least, it'll horrify you to ANYTHING that smacks of the 1970s and positively inspire you to fight back the forces of economic hell by sheer willpower.

Hope you're grooving to the photo below, too. Notice the poor dude in the 11 o'clock position - that's no waist-band, it's a girdle! And check the pipe-smokin' Santa - 'bet a few seconds after the shutter clicked, he was a polyester candle, bolting for the bathroom to flush the flames out.

Somewhere, those shirts are sitting in a landfill (Lord willing) and if we were to dig them up, they'd look GOOD. AS. NEW.

PS - In case you're wondering, The Rhodes Kids have apparently all gone on to achieve success and stability with their lives and remain close. How's that for a happy ending of the 70's? :)

Sunday, October 05, 2008

Star Killer

The above ad is from a screen shot - "paid for by McCain-Palin 2008."

Nice photo of Sarah in a white dress, but considering Peggy Noonan's critical analysis, she either did a clean job of "killing" Senator Biden or Ms. Palin quickly slipped into a new outfit for the photo.

Whether journalists should use street slang or not is beside the point - is the stupid quote the best that McCain's PR people could conjure??

"She was the star"?? - Sweet jiminy - McCain/Palin's 'Gone Hollywood!'

Friday, October 03, 2008

Does my tummy look funny?

The above video is a promotion for a fitness video.  The hook - if you "laugh" while performing abdominal exercise, you'll get firmer, stronger, whatever-abs.

Interesting, if not downright hysterical idea - and considering the mechanics of muscles, probably totally effective.

But how on earth does a company market a product that, by anyone's stretch, makes the user appear...well...stark, raving nuts?!

Mom:  "Okay, I'm doing my Laugh Video now!"

Family: "Thanks for the warning, we'll be back in an hour!" (door slams)

Hmmm.  If laughing firms up the abdominal muscles, 'wonder what she'd come up with to firm up the butt?

HA HA. Bet you're REALLY laughing now!