Friday, January 13, 2012

Look Clem - I think they want somethin'!

The ad above is authentic.  It's a tourism ad for North Dakota.

Two guys, three 'gals.'

The copy reads, "Drinks, dinner, decisions.  Arrive a Guest, Leave a Legend."

You know what the "Decision" was?  Deciding which Gal had to drive them all home.

And the "Legend"?  Well, in North Dakota, husky girls and awkwardly dressed men can find each other.  At least if they're walking in front of the right window.

Mystifying, really -  with other potential Tourism topics like, "Going to Rummage Sales,"  "Church Pancake Dinners" and "Heading into Town to Get Supplies," why did they pick, "Bang on the Window for Alcohol"?

"Look Lorie!  One of them has a BEER!"
"Hand's off - he's MINE!"

(giggle giggle)

North Dakota.  Arrive a Guest.  Leave A Tip.

UPDATE:  It gets weirder - the ad is targeted at CANADIANS (click)!   And you know those Canadians - they'll do anything for beer.

Mercedes Kampf

"Yes.  Yes!  Yes!!  Che's our man!"

So.  You're Mercedes Benz and you're making a presentation at the gigantimundo Consumer Electronic Show (CES) and want to make a point that you - like all the cool gizmos at the show - are REVOLUTIONARY.

So, you send your 20-something Creative Team to google "Revolutionary" and voila.

Still wondering why putting the iconic face of Cuban "Revolutionary" Che Guevara into your Powerpoint is a bad idea?

He pushed Communism into the bellies of the Cuban people, ushering a Totalitarian regime that's killed thousands and stripped the freedoms of millions.

And why Che when you've got the Premier Brand of dictators right in your backyard?!?

And he was a Mercedes-man, to boot.

Wednesday, January 04, 2012

You know in some parts, 2 outa 3 ain't bad.

The above photo was sent in by a Sadvertising reader - it's a Cracker Barrel gift-card from one of them-there gift card racks that are everywhere.

"Eat, Shop.  Relax, it's good for both."

Oh the vagaries of punctuation and typography, eh?

1.  You can Eat, then Shop...but you'll be stressed as Hell.

2. You can Eat and Relax...but afterwards, you can't shop (because you fell asleep and closed the place down?!  "Gawd...last night me'n Goober closed CRACKER BAR'L!  Day-um!  Whoo-hoo!"

3.  You Shop, then Relax.  But you can't eat.  I wonder why not?  Maybe cuz you're sick of the freaking place?  "Gawd, if ah'see one more Cin-mun bun candle, ah'm gonna PUKE!"

But then again, maybe...Cracker Barrel knows something about its customer's ability to count.

Certainly they need to learn a thing or two about how to position and punctuation headlines.

I'd have done-it lahk this...

Eat.  Shop.

Relax - you can do both!

Yes. Yes! YES! That's how it WORKS!!

The graphic above is real - it shows the use and result of the "Shape Up Body Pad."

It's so messed up.

Are you hearing the squishy, slurpy sound effects as the woman drops the slug into her pants?

*slurpglurpflurp*  Then the parasite takes hold - the deal with the devil complete!  In exchange for sumptuous curves, the creature attaches itself, forever one with the new host!

"'s time to steal again.  Master says so!"

"No!  NO!  I won't, I just WON'T!"

"Look.  You want a butt or not?"

"Yes Master. (sigh)  I'll take us to Wal-Mart. "

Mwaa-ha ha ha!

In the meantime, a woman with such an impossibly NON EXISTENT BUTT doesn't need a silicone slug to drop into her pants.  She needs to eat it.