Saturday, January 28, 2006

So, hey'fly here often? *hick!*

The graphic above is from the Safety Card of an Airbus 320.

I finally succumbed to the urge to actually read one of these things and the picture above just cracked me up.

If you've flown at all, chances are good you've experienced, "Drunk-on-the-airplane-guy" before and the good people at Aero Safety Graphics have him NAILED.

He's been pounding Hot Wings and Miller Lite for 6 hours, waiting for his delayed flight and now, he's talking to imaginary sales contacts.

"Ya'know...our XL490 series blows the ASS...blows the ASS! HP's whole g-damned server archite-ture...ya'know?! Ya'KNOW?!"

The tie is perfect, too.

Thank you to Susan - the courteous flight attendant for letting me walk off the plane with this little gem.

Friday, January 27, 2006

Bling Bling, Ka-ching, Ka-ching.

The graphic above is a poster that accompanied a "Bratz™" toy doll - a doll marketed towards girls aged 6-10. According to the Bratz™ official website, the Bratz™ girls have a, "...passion for fashion.™"

Having a more than passing interest in marketing, I decided to do a little research on Bratz.™ According to Delia Bourne - Marketing Manager for "toy giant Hamley's", "We find Barbie is popular with girls under six, whereas Bratz are dolls with attitude that children of today aspire to."1

Read that again -

"...attitude that children of today aspire to."

Read that again -

"...attitude that children of today aspire to."

Read that again -

"...attitude that children of today aspire to." that again. One more time for old-time's sake:

Read that again -

"...attitude that children of today aspire to."

So, children of today aspire to turning themselves into sexual fishing lures?!

It goes back to that quote from Ole'Hitler - "If you tell a lie often enough, people will believe it to be true."

If you believe that Bratz™ are what kids want "nowadays," then soon enough, some snake-minded marketer will cram it down our throats...and vice versa.

Girls, put the dolls down and go outside and play in the fresh air.


Sunday, January 08, 2006

"Hey Ahmed...bring some'more Mr. Clean when ya get off break, 'k?"

The photo above is from a Foxnews story on some alleged cases of "Bird Flu" in Turkey.

The caption reads: "An Iranian man disinfects Turkish trucks..."

Maybe I'm just a typical obsessive-compulsive American, but if that's "disinfecting," then we can probably also call the practice of letting pets lick dirty dinner plates clean, "doing dishes."

In other words, that poor dude ain't disinfectin' nuthin'.

Thanks to the valiant efforts of the Turks, we can expect a world-wide Bird Flu to be delayed by at least 2 days.*

*FYI - the writer of this blog remembers Swine Flu of the 70's and takes this whole Flu-thing with basketball-sized grains of salt.

Friday, January 06, 2006

The universal language of "WTH?!?"

These illustrations were found inside an Ikea furniture manual. For the uninformed, Ikea is the "cool but cheap" Swedish decor/furniture GIGANT.

Nevertheless, this little graphic greets customers - and, as incomprehensible as Swedish is as a language, they sure know how to communicate beyond the language barrier.

Check the lower left hand graphic of the little mutant guy - who hasn't had THAT expression before?!? The illustrator nailed it! However, it's rather improbable that someone who's confused by Ikea's ultra-simple assembly would be able to operate a more complicated machine like a telephone. In fact, notice how the telephone cord is wrapped around the mutant-guy's body - in the words of my bucktoothed sister from Arkansas, "He'a dumb, dumb feller!"

Also, check the middle left guy - he foolishly attempted to build his Ikea "thing" without a rug and bunged the corner up. In case you've ever done the same and wondered how it looked to an observer, now you know. You look like that - the same look that you had when you were 3 years old and peed your pants on the playground.

The top left/right illustrations are rather puzzling, however - I take it you're not supposed to use your trapezoid as an air-guitar?

Anyway, a salute to Ikea for managing to retain the simplistic charm of their products throughout their brand material.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Do graphic designers think Ellen Degeneres is full of hot air?!

When a graphic designer gets to the point where they're working on national mags like Redbook, they're professionals who don't miss a note.

Thumbing through my sister's January '06 edition, it was a surprise to see a photo-graphic that appears to show Ellen Degeneres making notes of her own. Oh, they're tasteful notes - not like a "Braaa-ap!" or "Blluuurpht!" or "Blububububub."

Nope. Ellen Degeneres doesn't make those kind of noises - especially wearing white. Ellen's a "Psst!" girl - like my sister used to pull on long car trips...silent, but deadly.

Anyway, it kinda makes ya'wonder if someone isn't making a statement. If so, and I were Ellen, I'd think it stunk.