Immediately.

immediately |iˈmēdē-itlē| adverb

1 at once; instantly : I called immediately for an ambulance.

2 without any intervening time or space : Let me know immediately she arrives.


If restoring our country's "standing" is so easy that the Clintons can do it immediately, George W should be able to get it done in...at the most...a day. Maybe two days. Three days, tops. No more than a week.

Possibly a month.

Ok, it could take a year.

Right?

Vegetarians made me NUDE!

(prior post deleted because it wasn't that good)

Anyone else see the hypocrisy of PeTA using flesh to promote vegetarianism?

Adam: "Hey. Eve. Nice fig leaves."

Eve: "WHEN YOU TALK TO ME LOOK AT MY EYES YOU PIG!" (storms off)

Adam: (Indignant at being rebuffed) "Oh yeah?! Cuz you can't find a leaf big enough to cover your huge BUTT?!"

Eve: "I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU..." (voice trails off as Eve stomps away through the brush)

PeTA - FYI, we're all animals and in the jungle of advertising, you're losing your call.

"Let me tell you about the very rich. They are different from you and me."*

The graphic above is a screen-shot of a cnn.com story on the new Lamborghini Reventon, a $1.4 million dollar "super car."

The Lambo Logo is a charging bull. Many of Lamborghini's cars are named after famous fighting bulls.

The "Reventon" is named after such a bull. A bull named "Reventon" that killed a famous bullfighter.

Don't know if Lamborghini uses Focus Groups, but this would have been a good time to invite other input into the marketing.

"Ok people. We're developing the ultimate super car and we're thinking of naming it Revington. What'dya think?!"

"What's that?"

"It's the name of a famous bull! You know...the bull that killed Felix Guzman?!"

"Oh cool! Maybe the Reventon will kill...oh, never mind."

Maybe Lambo thinks some danger and mystique will be added to their already lethal mixture of speed, public roads and "I want one!" hubris.

In that case, I suggest Ferrari one-up their competition with the "Quadrapalegia." They way they can say their car car isn't life threatening (at least).

What about...

The Chevrolet Corvette ICU?

The Porsche Carerra ER?

He he. Like my mom used to say, "It's all fun and games until some puts their eye out." Or, sends their eyes bouncing off a guardrail at 200mph.

*F. Scott Fitzgerald, from the book, The Great Gatsby

Doing the jobs we don't want to do?!

A sadvertising buddy discovered a potentially disturbing feature in a cnn.com broadcast of President Bush's 8.31 "mortgage crisis" speech - the unmistakable image of an alien peering through the window behind the President!

All Hail to our new Martian overlords?!

Actually, I think it's worse - the thing seems to be cleaning the glass!


(click graphic to enlarge view)

I sure hope the little feller is here "legal" and all - if not, we're gonna' need a bigger fence.

"Press 1 for English, Press 2 for Espanol. Press 3 for Reptarian."

I blame The Carpenters.

The dis membered kids.

The ad above ran in last month's SELF magazine. I tore it out of a magazine at the health club. I asked permission and they said, "yes." Of course, if I were confronted by a sweaty, balding guy wanting to lift a peanut butter ad out of a woman's fashion mag, I'd say "yes" too. Just in case things got weird...

Anyway, this ad reflects what happens when the client is satisfied with a cliche-level understanding of their target market.

How do we know?

Is it the dismembered body parts?

Is it the 12 foot high Kung Fu kick?

Is it the 35 year old hands grafted superimposed onto a teenager's leg?

Is it the dumb-struck "0" goalie?

Or perhaps the pristine apple slice readied for immersion into a sculpted cup of JIF?

Nope.

It's the message - "You cram so much into your kid's day they have to gain sustenance while running."

"But mom's are so BUsy! We want to show moms JIF is portable and nutritious!"

This ad may well mark the end of the Harried Soccer Mom and Day Planner Kid. Today, moms/parents are sick of dinner on the run and minivans that smell like home. A recent MTV poll of tween & teens show kids have deep desire for more time with their families.

There are so many ways JIF could have gotten their message across - Mom having an impromptu picnic with her kids, Dad & Jr. enjoying a snack while fishing...

Instead, the ad serves as a reminder that activities are like sardines and time is the oil - pack'em in and try to keep from going bad.

JIF, your market wants meaningful relationships and encouragement on doing nature's toughest job - raising a family, well.

At last, someone's telling it the way it is.

The above graphic is a screenshot from Foxnews.com - it shows the Hilton Hotels slogan, "Travel should take you places."

In the pursuit of Truth in Advertising, Hilton has raised the bar. It is indeed true...and physically impossible, to travel and not go any place. So yes, Travel should indeed take someone to "places."

Perhaps the rest of the business world should follow...

Ford: Automobiles should transport you places.

Applebees: Eating in places should reduce your hunger.

Levis: Wearing pants should keep you from getting kicked-out of places.

Nice to know some business is telling it like it is, eh?

OH! Did you catch the news story about that Idaho senator who was busted for indecent behavior while traveling through an airport?

Traveling took him someplace.

Looks like he should have just kept on traveling instead of stopping in the Minneapolis Airport bathrooms.

If all you drive is a hammer, everything you see is a nail.

The graphic above is a frame-series from a "Flash" banner ad on Foxnews.com. The ad is a promo for the Suzuki XL7.

Suzuki's are excellent cars. Their warranty is arguably the best in the industry, their engines are strong and the cars are well built. No wonder the cars get good reviews. Having driven an XL7 recently, I agree - the car's a great ride.

But the advertising? Bizarre...why on earth would anyone want to illustrate the XL7 as a battering ram?! (See the Mercedes post below). On top of that, one of Suzuki's challenges is to elevate themselves beyond the micro-car/motorcycle status. Comparing the SUV-sized XL7 to an eeny-weenie NAIL?!

Suzuki's slogan is "Way of Life." Egads - I sure hope not.

They're new! And small!

The above graphic is a scan of a header-card from a package of fireworks I bought over the 4th of July.

"Changrish" or "Engrish" - the poorly translated copy often found on Japanese and Chinese products is amusing - this label isn't the worst/best examper, but for some reason it struck me as funny.

New Small Bees. Not Old Gigantic Bees. New, SMALL bees.

Bees that are new! And small!

(yawn) - It's a slow Sadvertising day. I'm hopeful something better will turn up.

Ready...Aim...THROW!

The above image is from Yahoo.com - and supplied to Yahoo from the esteemed French News Service, "AFP."

The poor Iraqi woman is shown holding two bullets that "hit" her house following a "...coalition forces..." raid.

Two possibilities come to mind regarding this extremely telling piece of journalism:

One, the war in Iraq is officially lost. It appears our forces have lost their rifles and are resorting to throwing their bullets.

Two, the French haven't a clue on how guns operate.

(slaps forehead)

I need a vacation.

It's a Mercedes! GET OUT OF THE WAY!

The graphic above is a screenshot of a CNN article that describes the crappy bumpers of Mercedes C-class cars. Evidently they don't survive car collisions very well.

Notice the reply of Mercedes - "...because its bumper is designed to minimize injuries to pedestrians struck by the car."

Is this the best excuse the PR Department could conjure up?!

"Werner, I really like what you've done with the C-class styling, but something seems wrong with that big bumper."

"Why's that, Mr. Benz?"

"Well, you know our customers are a lethal lot. Next thing you know, parking lots are going to be littered with the dead and maimed."

"Hmmm. I see what you mean. I'll lower the bumper. For the people."

"Good boy, Werner. And you know what?"

"What?!"

"We should put a couple vials of morphine in the glove box. You know - for the victims. Knee injuries hurt you know."

"God bless you, boss! I'm so glad we're looking out for everyone. Including our victims!"

"Tut-tut, Werner. They're our CUSTOMER'S victims. We just make the cars."

Together: (HA HA HA HA HA HA)


Note: Tonight, I had a beer with a C-class owner. He said he feels a lot more comfortable parking in busy shopping malls now.