The graphic above is from the English magrag "The Sun." It's a picture of a chicken head allegedly found in a bag of frozen chicken WINGS. (pause here to contemplate the next cheap-food to emerge on the bar-scene: Hot Heads! You know, to replace Hot Wings?!?)
Accidents happen in the food business. I know from experience...like the time a mouse ran up and grabbed a piece of sausage from a customer's pizza...or the time someone decided to clean the dough roller "after all these years" and found a colony of wire worms...
ANYWAY, what a fascinating display of Customer Service on the part of the grocery chain that sold the bag of Hot Heads...er, Hot Wings. They gave the customer BOOZE!
"Egads, man! That's gross! You need a drink!"
Asda's leadership is practicing empathy at an unprecedented level. In my case, I'd probably have preferred they give me a free carpet cleaning and some antacid, but frankly, a stiff belt to calm me down is pretty darned clever.
The graphic above is picture of Obama speaking in front of his new symbol. Regardless of your politics, who's the bonehead who thought that rebranding the Presidential Seal was a good idea?!?
Anyway, the verbiage is mine. The photo was found on Fox.
BUT while I was at it, my mind went back to that glorious day in 1979 when my buddy Tom introduced me to the Ramones. ONETWOTHREEFOUR...LOBOTOMY! LOBOTOMY! LOBOTOMY!
Politics sucks.
The Ramones don't.
Click to enlarge...then, scroll down and click to...LOBOTOMY! LOBOTOMY!
The ad above was ripped from the June 2008 edition of "Family Fun" magazine.
This ad is part of a similarly themed campaign designed to show the common, everyday, utilitarian uses for pork.
Pork & Nail Polish may be eye catching, but so are dead birds on the driveway. Gee whiz - not only is the layout grosser than road kill, it kicks the client into the ditch.
There were/are a hundred different ways the Pork People could have communicated the versatility and excitement of their product. Comparing it to Nail Polish...or Pilates (they do that on their website) not only devalues quality, it also disses the house WIFE as a dim-wit who can't see value for what it is - which in and of itself is rather goofy because Value, if it's really Valuable, should be obvious.
And the "guy" version is Pork & WD-40? Hmmm.
Clearly, the Pork People are trying to energize and "reawaken" a market they feel is undervaluing Pork's ability to fit in with their modern lifestyle. But allowing new consumers the opportunity to imagine the cold slime of raw pig and aroma of acetone isn't going to add fat to the long-term brand.
The graphic above is a screenshot from today's cnn.com. If there's ever any doubt that modern news is nothing more than entertainment, this should erase it. Notice three points regarding this "article":
A. The downfall of capitalism and the rise of the New World Monarchy run by gawd-only-knows-but-it-won't-be-good.
First, the writer assumes "...as Americans..." we are simply turning over and "resigning" to $5 gasoline. If we indeed live in a capitalistic society, the consumer has ultimate power. Until we hear the sound of Jackboots during the 4th of July Parade, Americans aren't "resigning" anything - we're agreeing. Acquiescing more like it, but that's another issue.
Secondly, this isn't news, it's editorial. Americans are cutting back because they realize gasoline is soaking up disposable income. "Fear" is a strong word and should only be used to describe giant monsters, alien invasions and the wrath of God.
Thirdly, if we polled 8 year olds, 86% of them would believe that a Poke'mon Trainer is a real job. SADVERTISING READERS - please do your best today to remind your friends that we don't know the future, will never know the future...but we might lose our souls if we surrender rational thought to polls, popular culture and "media." Gee whiz. If there ever WAS a Star-Chamber Cabal that sits over the fate of our pathetic destinies, CNN.com's story was just a veiled press release that we are indeed, sheep...and will soon be fleeced.
The photo above is my old toothbrush, and my new toothbrush. Two different brands bought at two different prices at two different stores. One was Target, the other was Walgreens. I think. Whatever. All those stores are basically the same (except Wal-Mart, which is ruled by the Dark Lord of Malaise, who smites all who enter.)
Nevertheless, it had to happen - the moment of cosmic convergence when all things old become new and vice versa. And here it is - two diametrical designs - even the fancy "sensor bristle" pattern alternates!
One can't help but wonder - if one is the opposite of the other, which one is better?
"Ouch!"
"Honey, what's wrong?"
"It's this toothbrush! The last one worked so well, but this new one just removed a molar!"
(wife examines both toothbrushes)
"Well, here's the problem. This one is designed completely WRONG!"
"Why...those SCOUNDRELS! I'm calling Oprah!"
'Wish I kept the packaging - comparing ad copy would have been amusing.
In the meantime, I've been eyeing a model that really seems to be pushing the design envelope further - at last, someone FINALLY added micropulsing bristles and combined it with a Split-Head™ design (sheesh, took long enough!).
PS - Sonicare toothbrushes are supposed to be awesome and I'll prolly get one. But in the meantime, I'm sticking with the advice of my 3 Dentist friends - "Just brush."
The above ad is from Glamour Magazine - the February 2008 issue. I tore it out of a mag at our health club (I'm a Glamourous guy, you know) and tossed it into my gym bag. 'Got a little crumpled in the process...
Anyway, here's the High Concept - a blonde Asian woman is staring at her reflection as she runs into an oncoming truck. (time out - imagine that phone call from the Creative Director to the Client: "Yeah, we're gonna get a blond Asian chick, she's going to be holding a big ole' mirror and running into a truck! It'll be GREAT!"
The copy reads: "Live fast." The subcopy reads, "High Speed Shopping: diesel.com" What the...?!
Wait...now I get it! The mirror is the metaphor for a computer monitor! The truck represents the terror of an upscale mall...and the blonde Asian woman wearing last week's jeans is the customer you DON'T want to be!
Ah-HA! It's getting clearer now...If you don't shop at Diesel.com, you'll get hit by a truck! Right! Got it! No...WAIT! What's that slogan under the logo? "For Successful Living" ?!
Ahhhh. Maybe this whole vignette is a character message - "If you're obsessed with appearances, you'll get hit by a truck and you won't be successful." Right! Just like mom always taught us kids - work hard, do right, be yourself...
You know, it took me a while, but Diesel's all right, taking the time to weave that Noble message in and out of their ad. This reminds me of a saying my Mom had about about clothing and trucks...what was it (thinks)...OH YEAH! Wear clean underwear in case I get hit by a...THATS IT!
THIS IS AN UNDERWEAR AD!!
You know, if I was out walking around, navigating by reflection, and I looked up and saw that truck, I'd definitely have a sudden need for clean underwear and when I got out of the hospital, I'd head straight for Diesel.com to buy more! Brilliant!...maybe...not.
Going back to Diesel's slogan and what my mom taught - work hard, do right, be yourself, wear clean underwear...that'd be be truer to "...Successful Living" than screeching tires, shattering glass and dirty underwear.
In the meantime, you might like to see a fashion ad from 1979 that's both insane and brilliant at the same time. One of the all-time best ads ever - timeless, elegant and well produced all around.
The above photo was a picture taken of a piece of chicken pulled out of a bag of frozen chicken breasts.
So...what's a Breast without the "Rrrrrrrr!"? A BEAST!
Holy Pterodactyl - if that's a breast, the "chicken's" head must be the size of a freakin' MELON!
And why is this grotesque photo germane to a blog about marketing? Because customers have evidently gone boobie for gigantic, genetically, chemically enhanced birds.
Capitalism is a beautiful thing, but mutating meat to this degree is beyond bodacious - it's food porn for a nation of gobblers who simply can't get past the idea that bigger is better.
Reminds me of a saying I just made up - "If we don't like what Nature gives us, she might just give us what we want."
The above image is from the back of this month's Reader's Digest. It's an ad for Dove soap.
For a minute, I thought it was an ad for Jagermeister. Or maybe Spring Break in Daytona.
But, actually, it's an ad for Dove soap! The soap that gives babysitters the confidence to take off their tops! Yay!
Egads - what a lousy concept and one that definitely should have been the sign that the agency's Creative Jam was done for the day. The subcopy reads: "We applaud women with courage and self-esteem."
There are men who'd applaud that woman (click the headline and go to her website) but they usually do it waving $20's to the Motley Crue tune, "Girls, Girls, Girls!"
Trust me, I get the intentions of this ad - that Dove is a brand that can help women break free of stereotypes of body image blah blah blah blah... But putting HER in THAT getup with THAT grin and THAT pose doesn't say "Fabulous" or "Confidence." It says "This sorority is about to get a lawsuit."
Maybe I'd find this ad more alluring if I just didn't happen to have a daughter that I'm trying to lead to a definition of "Fabulous" and "Confidence" that has nothing to do with body shape, size or lack of clothing.
Then again, I'm a guy. What do I know about objectifying women?!
The graphic above is from www.clubztutoring.com - a franchise that specializes in providing kids with tutoring services.
Their mission is all well and good...but their logo casts a shadow on their teaching methodology. Specifically, the use of Clubz.
I once tried using Clubz to get the kids to pitch in on the housework once - it didn't work out well. First, they were too fast and secondly, I used rather large Clubz and the damage to the sheetrock and trim was horrific. In the end, I got tired from wielding the Clubz and ended up a broken man, hunched underneath my wife's wagging finger, "I told you, don't be too hard on the kidz!"
he he he...
Oh well - unfortunately, the logo designer's sense of typography just doesn't reflect the obvious passion of the company's leadership. A simple space between Club and Z would reinforce "Club Z's" desire to help, not pummel.
The above ad was found in our Sunday paper. It's for a pet food called "Goodlife Recipe." The product's slogan appears to be, "Thoughtful recipes made just for them. It's that simple."
WHAT?!
Thoughtful?! ...just for them?!
Put the bongs down and step away from the smoke...CATS. NEVER. FANTASIZE. ABOUT. CARROTS.
Nor do they think "Gawd I'd love a big ole'tomato!"
Same with peas in the pod.
Spinach too.
I'll give them the sushi and milk.
BUT PASTA?!
Sweet jiminy on a stick - who's the THOUGHTFUL person thinking up these "just for them" recipes? Obviously, they've never seen real cats (notice the fangs!?). Cats are carnivorous predators. When I was a kid, I had a cat that caught, killed, gutted and gorged on a rabbit. It was disgusting as all get-out, but that cat was prouder than a pious mom on first-communion day.
Last I knew, if a cat's out eating vegetation it's just before they cough up parasites, hairballs or plain old keel over.
OH! Wait - down there on the lower left - the coupon's fine print: "Wholesome delights or treats for Indoor Cats."
Oh. Ok. Now I get it. Goodlife is for pale, whiny latch-key cats who get their toys taken away by mice.
Dogs on the other hand...I once had a dog that ate a shoe. And it didn't even puke.
UPDATE: Heard from a Sadvertising reader who claims her cat will eat Lima Beans, Potatoes and Corn (that's dropped onto the floor). I think her cat's crazy and I stand on my assertion that cats don't care about carrots.
