Thursday, January 27, 2011

R.I.P. = the United Colors of Terror

According to the Department of Homeland Security, the beloved, trusted Terror Colors are being retired this April.  This attempt must surely go down in history as one of the strangest ad campaigns in American history.

The principle was solid-enough:  assure citizens, illiterate or not, of their risk of random death/injury by a color chart.    "Today's a red day, kids.  No kisses until I see kevlar on mommy's little bunchkins!"

Now, the chart was a sincere attempt to inform but it lost any credibility when NO ONE saw a GREEN DAY.  Sweet Jimminy - did anyone ever see BLUE?!  Geez, I don't think we ever left Orange!  Maybe you were like me, staring wistfully at the color chart while TSA went through your stuff, dreaming of those carefree GREEN days as a kid, running through the meadow with your best friend Chip and his dog Shep...

But, I guess with the passing of this silly system, I truly mourn the ability to bid on the job on the first place.  Maybe I'm crying sour grapes because they didn't like MY idea.

It was better, don't you think?