Saturday, July 05, 2008

Miss Nadine! Miss Nadine! Let down your hair!

The above scan is of the side-panel of a bag of Qik Joe charcoal briquettes.

Without a DOUBT, Qik Joe is the easiest charcoal to light. Bar. None.

However, as wonderful as Qik Joe happens to be, it appears Miss Nadine isn't so fortunate. If the illustration is at all accurate, there's no wonder why Miss Nadine is a "Miss." She's what we call around here, "Butt ugly."

And, again, judging by the illustration alone, she appears to have stolen clothing from her toddler nephew.

"Where's Timmy's adorable sailor outfit!? It was here a moment ago...NADINE?! GET IN HERE THIS INSTANT!"

Well, and one more observation of Miss Nadine. She's not much of a gourmet. "Scrub skins of potatoes. Wrap in household foil. Place on hot coals. Bake for one hour." Result: Hot potato. Want some Hot Potato? Yay! We're going over to Miss Nadine's for Hot Potato!

Glorious, wonderful, flavorful Hot Potato! From Miss Nadine!

Geez. Add a little butter. Or salt. Or pepper. Or maybe...ALL OF 'EM! The guests won't know what hit'em. Hope they've got a good lock on their kids' wardrobes, though.

Gee whiz, Qik. If Miss Nadine is worth a three-color print job, she's worth a decent illustration.