Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Pip squeak!?

Note: I know I'm a guy and there's a lot about girls toys that I don't understand.

That being stated, I don't understand this toy. The video above is of a Baby Born® doll. It belongs to my 3 yr old.

On any other day, a squeeky-toy baby activated by crunching its arm would be written off as just goofy. Especially this thing - the manufacturers are quite proud of the fact that it eats, poops, drinks, pees and cries...which, ironically, are the least desirable aspects of babies.

But today, my wife was busy flushing its 'food' out of the complicated array of valves and tubes that make up Baby Born®'s vaunted digestive system - so the goop wouldn't spoil and start to stink (which ironically would be even MORE realistic).

Anyway, she looked up at me and stated rather proudly, "Hey! I found out how to get it to squeak with delight!" and proceeded to force Baby Born® to emit these creepy 'eep! eep! eep!" noises.

"That doesn't sound like 'delight,' honey..."

"That's what the manual says they are!"

Manual!? What kind of baby toy needs a manual?!? Well, evidently those strange squeaks are supposed to be 'delightful.' Dunno...if any of our kids would have started making those noises, I wouldn't have called them 'delight', I'd have locked the rest of us in a room and called a priest!

"Father Brownstein?!'s POSSESSED! Come quick! I think it's heard us! AaaHHH!"


Hmmmm. The next section, "Comforting Baby Born® When She Cries." Evidently squeezing her OTHER arm makes her cry.

And when you yank her leg, she sprouts leathery wings, grows fangs and spits fire.

Naw. She just pees.