Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Someone's got the jitters, someone's got the jitters, someone's...

The graphic above is from CNN/Money.com. According to the article, Starbucks is closing for 3 hours of employee training.

"...would foster enthusiasm in it's 135,000 U.S. employees and improve the quality of drinks..."

CEO Howard Schultz states, "We believe that this is a bold demonstration of our commitment to our core and a reaffirmation of our coffee leadership."

Wow. In one swoop, Starbucks has admitted:

A. Morale problems.
B. Quality problems.
C. Training problems.
D. Marketing problems.

No...no..., Mr. Schultz, it's an obvious statement to pervasive Groupthink in your organization, dude.

I can just hear the "Employee's Only" teleconference - lead by some balding dysfunctional-dad type leaning over a Starbuck logo'd podium...

"Ok you people, how many times have I told you that enthusiasm and quality...but NOooo...what do we have to do...thick skulls...mindless morons...if you can't...find someone who will...get back to work."

Oh. LIKE the Dunkin' Donuts response!

""...to ensure that no coffee lover is denied a delicious espresso-based beverage...small lattes...for a promotional price of $.99 on Tuesday..."

But DD would have had a HOME-FREAKING-RUN if they would had the beans to give it away for free.

Oh well. Tomorrow, I'll plan on stopping by Starbucks. I'm sure it will be dramatically, incredibly improved.

If not, what are they going to do...close for a whole day? A week? A month? A...???