Monday, October 29, 2012

Daddy Saddle: dodged THAT bullet! (Whew!)

Is there an emoticon for "WHAAA?!?!"

Any good Revolutionary or Anarchist out there knows that the easiest way to ruin a culture is to introduce counter-culture ideas into the minds of its children.

Kenner - the company that brought us Spirograph®, Easy-bake-oven® and all those cool Star Wars figurines - was clearly part of the Communist plot to destroy American social order in the 1960s.

As a red, white and blue-blooded American dad, I find "Daddy Saddle" to be horrifying!  I work too dang hard to keep the little critters in control to let it all unravel in this gut-twist of authority.

Thing 1:  Daddy!  Let's play Horse!
Dad:  Sure!  It'll be fun!
(puts on Daddy Saddle)
Thing 1:  Wee!
Dad: Ouch, ouch, uh-oh...
Thing 1:  Faster!
Dad: Uh, time to put this away...
Thing 1: Awww...

(ten years later)

Thing 1: Dad, the meth party is at our house tonight.  And I want the fridge full.  Of steaks.  And don't go cheap on the beer.  And I expect you & mom will get a hotel room.
Dad: (to self) Woe! Woe!  And it all started out with a round of 'Horsey!

(shudder).  And I can hear just the sound of kneecaps being ground into crumbly pieces by the hard linoleum...

Thank goodness parents don't play with their kids anymore.