Sunday, November 18, 2007

Speckles that Sparkle.

The above graphic is a scan of a pack of Orbitz® chewing gum.

The scan below is a detail.

Here's the deal - and this is straight from the box:

Chewing 2 pieces of Orbit White after eating and drinking helps: • remove stains and whiten teeth based on an 8-week clinical test"

Put aside that you have to eat this stuff 6+/day for 56 DAYS to experience the "help" in removing stains and whiten teeth.

Try to dismiss any mental images of what a "Melon Breeze" is like. (I'm seeing people running in terror under a hail of cantalopes - orange splats on concrete, people hiding under cars, window panes shattering...)

Ignore the quirky dance-move illustration that suggests you play basketball with the trashcan.

Focus on the mysterious two-words "...sparkling speckles."

Not mere speckles - SPARKLING speckles.

Just the other day, I was in the Speckle Aisle at the store, checking the list to make sure I got the right Speckles for the week and I didn't see any Sparkling Speckles. Of course, Orbit White might be buying all of them up - hoarding the precious supply to ensure exclusivity.

Bah...I can't go on. Too much cynicism makes me lose my shimmer.

Nevertheless, take the "sparkle" challenge yourself and look for those odd, mysterious bits of copy that promise so much but mean nothing.

It takes effort to write copy that truly sparkles, but not as much effort as 8 pieces of gum every day for nearly two months.

Or standing outside during a Melon Breeze.