Thursday, May 04, 2006

It Came From the BOG!!

(UPDATE 5-19-06: A sadvertising reader has pointed out that Wisconsin produces more cranberries than the northeast. I hope that my mention of the Northeast did not lead any other sadvertising readers to overlook the value of Wisconsin. Without Wisconsin, not only would we suffer from a loss in cranberries but Minnesota would also tip over, spilling thousands of Minnesotans into Iowa, Illinois and Lake Michigan.)

The above graphic is from the back label of a bottle of Ocean Spray Cranberry Juice.

Cranberry Juice is great and Ocean Spray is the undisputed ruler of the market. About the only thing they could ever do to screw up their business is to replace cranberries with cat pee.

Anyway, you have to wonder about that last line on the label - whenever you see a trademark symbol, (™), you know it's important enough to get the lawyers involved.

"Straight from the Bog!"™


Instantly, my fond memories of sparkling, tart cranberry juice cascading down levels of clinking ice is replaced with one of fetid biological muck and rubber waders. At least that's what comes to mind when I think of, "Straight from the Bog!"

"Cranberry bogs" are a Northeastern thing and usually not-at-all unsightly or gross. But to the rest of the country who grew up on late-night horror TV, "Bogs" are places where teenagers get eaten by fish-beasts.

That probably explains why "Straight from the Bog!" is on the back label and in small print. I can well imagine one of Ocean Spray's founders getting glassy-eyed and emotional talking about 'the bogs' that fostered his fortune. He probably insisted on the trademark. But as a marketing word, "Bog" is blech. That's why it's not on the front of the label, in bold print.

Ocean Spray makes delicious juice - from rich New England fields, morning mists that blanket the berries with pure dew...and acres husbanded by generations of wholesome, hardy folk who always tell the truth, make their own furniture and smile with the radiant glow that comes from years of tingly cranberry juice.

Not bogs.