Friday, March 19, 2010

Written with Real Fruitiness-ness.

The ad above was placed by Kellogg's for it's Pop•Tarts® snack-things.  It's in this month's Family Circle.

The Art Direction here is rather good.  It caught my bloodshot eye anyway.  I bet it gets almost as much attention as "What your refrigerator says about your sex life" and "Ten ways to feed your family for less than a dollar a day."

However, notice the headline.  Now, everyone knows that Pop•Tarts are about as nutritious as white bread dipped in Vodka.  So when I read, "Baked with real fruit" my BS meter started gurgling.  And sure enough, there at the bottom ('cuz Kelloggs is big enough to have lawyers on staff) was the clue - a disclaimer.

Here it is:

*Filling made with equal to 10 percent fruit.

Read it again.   Now read it again.  Ok, one more time.

You're confused aren't you.  Go ahead admit it - there are religious prophecies worded with greater clarity than that.  And after reading the disclaimer, the headline takes on a whole new meaning - "Baked WITH real fruit" could mean that Kellogg's pulled an office chair next to the assembly line, set an apple on it and called it Truth.

See, Kelloggs could have written, "Fruit filling contains 10% fruit."  or  in the case that each flavor had a different percentage for fruit (as if Wild Grape would have wild grapes anywhere, anyway) "Fruit content may vary."

But no, they wrote:  Filling made with equal to 10 percent fruit.

It's like they're referring to some other ethereal substance that is not fruit but can be equated with fruit.  At least 10% of fruit.  Ack.  My head hurts.

Whatever, Kellogg's slogan is "Made for Fun®"   Well, maybe made for equal to 10 percent fun.  More or less.  Sort of.