Monday, October 22, 2007

Please stow the table in its upright locked position. And beg for mercy.

The above graphic is a screen-shot of a story on regarding our nation's Airline Industry.

Evidently, NASA conducted a survey on the Airline Industry. Afterwards, NASA destroyed the data. According to the story, they did so with the same kind of zeal reserved for finding naked pictures of dear old grandma.

Quoting the story - "...senior NASA official, associate administrator,* (see note below) Thomas S. Luedtke, said revealing the findings could damage the public's confidence in airlines and affect airline profits."

Again - "...could damage the public's confidence in airlines and affect airline profits."

(insert dramatic pause)


Sweet jiminey on a popsicle stick - what could be so bad that it would "damage our confidence" in an industry already bubbling in bancruptcy?!

Left to my own imagination, I'm conjuring images of 4th grader pilots, empty Jack Daniels bottles under the rudder pedals and angst-riddled flight attendants carving initials of jilted lovers onto their forearms.

But...perish that we - lowly CUSTOMERS - get our confidence shaken - what about the PROFITS?!!

As a gentle reminder to those younger than 35, Ford Motor Company made the strategic decision to pay out wrongful death lawsuits rather than recall its Pinto automobiles and make a $20 fix to the leaky gas tank.

"Let'em burn, Jenkins! You want to take the wife to Fiji this Christmas or not?!"

Click to learn about fried Pintos here


*Then again, anyone who becomes a "senior official" and still has the title of Associate Administrator should be suspect.