Sunday, July 15, 2007
I'm sorry, honey, but since we made Pookie say "Yo Mama!"...
The above graphic is a combination of a scan from a piece of legalese that accompanied a "Baby I'm Yours" doll and its new owner.
"Baby I'm Yours" is a doll-brand marketed by Target department stores. The doll emits odd noises that are intended to simulate a typical human infant. In reality, it sounds like a bag of hungry kittens, but that's another subject.
Anyway, the circled wording reads:
Caution: changes or modifications not expressly approved by the party responsible for compliance could void the user's authority to operate the equipment.
Read again - "...could void the user's authority to operate..."
Wow. Little Jenna could have her authority to play with Pookie VOIDED if she did any messin' with the doll's voice chips.
SFX: KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
Muffled voice: Is this the home of Jenna Hanson?
Kid: DAD! There's a bunch of guys surrounding the house!
Dad: Close the curtains! Honey - get Pookie!
Mom: (hysterically) You mean...!?
Dad: I'm afraid so...since we programed Pookie to speak Swedish, Jenna's authority to play with Pookie is VOID!! (Looks wife into eyes and delivers an impassioned line) QUICK! FLUSH POOKIE!
Mom: (sobs as she runs down hall to scramble through Jenna's toy bin in time...)
Yeah, yeah, the flier is some off-the-shelf piece of legal salami, likely written a decade ago for some other product.
BUT Target® has the talent and passion to make sure their products aren't treated with such an off-hand manner. Business must realize these little details are important - they get passed around the birthday table, blogged by fifth-rate writers and ultimately, reflect on the precious reputation of the retailer.
But since they brought it up, I wonder if there's some way I can hack it to say something other than, "Mew!" "RarRarRarRar!" and "Murm"...