Thursday, October 27, 2005

Born from JETS! JETS! See?!? SAAB's are like mini JETS! Don't you get it?!

SAABs are least the SAABs of fame like the 900, the Sonnet and the 9000 Turbo. SAAB made fighter planes in WWII and pioneered aircraft technology (yes, jets!) and performed so well that the rest of the aeronautical world muttered, "How the...did they do that?!" But now, SAAB is a sob story in the automotive world.

Fast forward to the 90's when GM bought SAAB. Why did GM buy SAAB? I don't know. But that's not important right now because RIGHT NOW, SAAB is sucking to the point of some $500 million dollars on GM's bank account.

The real question is "Why is SAAB sobbing?!"

A. SAAB was founded on cutting edge technology.
B. SAAB made a market niche on "unique" (remember their funky styling?).
C. SAAB also did the difficult-thing of sharing Volvo's niche of "safety."

Now, SAAB is owned by GM and uses GM and Subaru technology - good, but off-the-shelf. It's styling is no longer distinctive and "safety" is no where near their public image any more.

The "Born from jets" is supposed to awaken us to SAAB's heritage - but where's the Jet-like technology? Where is the unique styling (Hello, GM...Chrysler is all over you on this). Where is the discussion of safety?

Instead, "Born from jets" brings up images of something blown through the birth-canal of a red-hot afterburner - I can see molten metal sprayed out like baby poop...

"Born from Jets" is going to fail. Using a heritage as a sell-job is always a last-ditch defense but even more so when the heritage bears no resemblance to the offspring.

It's too bad - SAABs used to be so cool...back when they actually made jets.