Thursday, August 11, 2005

40 years and 375 calories later...

Poor girl. She needed to gain 5lbs. So, she did what any weight-conscious waif would do - she kicked back a few cans of Nutrament (tm) and its 375 mass-making calories.

Now, here are the figures.

1lb of fat = 3,500 calories. (let's assume she wants some soft curves and soft curves come from fat).

5lbs of fat = 17,500 calories...17,500 calories in ADDITION to what she's already eating.

Let's assume that she's burning every calorie she eats up until critical mass - the point she decides to gain weight (stop laughing!). So, she decides to lean on the Nutrament at 375 calories per can.

Nancy has three options: (rounding the numbers)

1 can of Nutrament(tm) a day for 47 days.

2 cans of Nutrament(tm) a day for 23 days

3 cans of Nutrament(tm) a day for 16 days

Having drank a few cans of Nutrament during Jr. High School wrestling, I can safetly guess that Nancy wouldn't be drinking more than 3 cans of Nutrament(tm) a day, so we'll leave it at that.

The point here is not that it takes a lot of Nutrament(tm) to gain weight. Neither is the point that Nancy wanted to gain weight at all - though it seems rather weird.

The point is that Nancy needed to WORK to gain weight.

The ad is clipped from Reader's Digest and published in 1968 - almost 40 years ago. Back in '68, most meals were eaten at home, fast-food was rare and processed food was just beginning to find its way into our guts in the form of "TV Dinners."* There were no Mocha Latte's, no four-bucks four-bucks four-bucks four-bucks, no Buy-one, get one, and even Soda pop was sold in 12oz bottles (unlike the the massive plastic scuba tanks sold today).

Today, we eat more food and eat more of the wrong kinds of food. Read for yourself...

At any rate, back in '68, people were slimmer and ate less. Gaining weight was WORK.

Ok, sermon done (almost). I thought you might find the above ad interesting. more thing. And this is marketing-related. Can you figure out how Nutrament(tm) would be marketed today? Can you imagine seeing the above ad in the local paper or woman's magazine?

Hmmm...let's see here. How about this headline -

"I LOST 5lbs and look so much better in my clothes. Nutrament(tm) helped me do it!"

After all, it has ONLY 375 calories.