The above graphic is from Foxnews.com. Horrible news, really - someone's child, friend is dead. But, notice how three little words suddenly make the headline really (as they told me in Journalism School) "Reach out and grab the reader!"
Those three words? Why, they're "Gnawed by Turtles."
The editors and foxnews.com are spot-on and top-notch - they KNOW how to make news exciting and...well, meaningful for the masses.
Ya'see, what's another dead guy? Probably happens in Jersey...maybe...every day..maybe every hour. (yawn). But when the body's GNAWED BY TURTLES, suddenly, I - YOU - EVERYONE wants to KNOW!
Let's try it with other mundane headlines...
"GAS PRICES UP $.15 IN TWO WEEKS AND GNAWED BY TURTLES"
"CANDIDATES DEBATE IMMIGRATION REFORM AND ARE GNAWED BY TURTLES"
"TAX REBATE CHECKS ARE BEING MAILED AND GNAWED BY TURTLES"
Sigh.
Some day, I bet even dead bodies gnawed by turtles will need a little more "ooomph" to keep the ratings up.
But for the life of me, I can't think of anything better than...GNAWED BY TURTLES.
Dang. Some people get ALL the genius while the rest of us get...
