The above picture is a screen-capture from a FoxNews advertisement for GMC.

Notice the copy - "The price on our tag is the price you pay. Not a penny more."

Isn't it fascinating that the price on the tag is the price you pay and not a penny more?

If you're not as fascinated by this statement as I am, say it aloud - "The price I pay is the price on the sticker. Not a penny more."

Wow.

In other words...

"Our product line is so boring, so crummy, that we're trying "ethics" as a tactic."

If you treat customers like idiots, you'll end up with idiots for customers.


Marketers are ruining the American car industry and that is very sad.

BoredRoom Bogus - if it's this bad, you might as well make a game out of it!

A long time ago, a friend of mine had a client that was so steeped in jargon, they'd nearly created their own language. It was somehow gratifying to listen to - it sounded important and confident - lot's of action and decisive-sounding words like "stragization" and "conceptize." Unfortunately, it was incomprehsible and utterly meaningless.

Kind of like listening to a fancy-shmancy French opera only to find out later, the actors were singing the ingredients of soup labels. Who knew?!

Anyway, one of their old employees looked me up and in the course of our reminiscing, I came up with this game.

Click on the pictures for a higher-rez pic that you can download and print out. Then, play-away at your next Bored Meeting!

Merry Christmas!

Validate Me. Please.

A week or so, this ad popped up in Newsweek. It's a double-page ad from American Express touting their new card-product that deposits money into a savings acount every time the holder spends.

This ad illustrates the advertisers perspective on their customers - they are unable to control their lives.

Marketing-wise, the product is a dumb idea, but that's not the point of this post. This is about something dumber - the ad itself.

Poor mother - she wants to buy her kid everything he wants, but somehow can't. Perhaps she's not celebrity-rich. Perhaps she's a bad mother. Perhaps that damnable house payment is spoiling the fun.

And then there's the kid. He won't save. He just won't SAVE! Meds won't work...and there's that unstoppable force called TV...he'll die - yes, die - if he doesn't have all that glorious, life-giving "stuff."

This is called "Learned Helplessness" and its a tactic taught by advertisers world-wide. It's wrong, it's uncreative and it's harmful.

Notice the copy assumes the mother has no options. NO OPTIONS. The only solution is the Amex Card - which, ironically, will not teach her son to save, nor will it get her everything her son sees on television.

I hate this kind of junior-grade copy/creative and so should you.

Amex could have had an effective ad with a completely different take on the card. Since the "savings" is really the same rebate-crapola that Discover™ pioneered 15 years ago, call it what it is and tout the benefits:

How about this -

"Finally, a credit card that saves money. Literally!"

"Instead of racking up points, how about racking up dollars?"

or

"I just opened a savings account for my son while I was buying his school-clothes."


(sigh)

In the meantime, tell the kid to get a job.

PeTA - The Meat & Bones under their Fruit & Nuts

PeTA are to be respected for their marketing genius - they're patient, clever and have a sound grasp of human nature. I remember handling the PR for a State-sponsored Fair when PeTA threatened to visit the sheep exhibits and splash red paint on the prize-winning animals. I can still remember the clatter of metaphorical pitchforks as the farmers and producers rattled their teeth in rage.

"Why, just let me get my hands on their tree-huggin' necks and I'll..." Silly farmers, hunters, and whoever else lets PeTA get under their skin...if the graphic above enrages you, it's simply doing its job.

The cartoon is not meant to convince kids, but to polarize adults. Once lines are drawn, the decision-making process for either side is rather simple - PeTA does nothing more than get people to love or hate them.

"Love or Hate" is an effective business model and it works in religion, politics and promoting social issues.

It's a case of "Three steps forward, two steps back" - a steady desensitization or marketing of a message until it (or a form of it) is acceptable.

PeTA will never "win" and they know that. But their donor base will be loyal, fervent and as a group, long-lived.

Solid work, PeTA!

In the meantime, Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! We're having Turkey, Ham, Stuffed Flounder and on Friday....STEAKS!

Yum!

Break-back Marketing

Hollwood exploits to make a buck. This time, they're exploiting women AND guys at the same time. This time, it's called "Brokeback Mountain." It's about two gay cowboys in Wyoming and it's virulently anti-male. It's a chick-flick man-hater film from the get-go.

And judging by the trailer alone, it's brilliant. Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. It's like selling touch-less faucets and anti-bacterial spray to the Obsessive-Compulsive. It's like calling a candy "fart" and selling it to 9 year olds boys. It's like putting the Viagra logo on a stock car. It's like...brilliant.


How do we know? (gong sound) Truth is in the marketing, young grasshopper!

The picture above are two stills taken from the Brokeback Mountain trailer and they're all the clues we need.

First - the shirt. Heath Ledger hugs the blue denim shirt left behind by his "buddy", Jake Glynwhatever. STRAIGHT GUYS DO NOT HUG SHIRTS. GAY GUYS DO NOT HUG DENIM. Who hugs clothing? WOMEN HUG CLOTHING. Women hug their clothes. Women covet their clothes. Women share their clothes. Women marry for clothes. Women steal clothes. Women wear clothes once, then pay $200 to put them in hermetically sealed boxes.

WOMEN HUG CLOTHES. Guys do not hug clothes.

Second - the scene where "some actress" says to her gay cowboy husband, "You're not up on that mountain fishin!". ALL GUYS HATE IT WHEN THEIR "WOMEN" COMPLAIN ABOUT THEIR ACTIVITIES.

Who hates fishing? WOMEN HATE FISHING... FOOTBALL... HUNTING... MAKING RADIO CONTROL AIRPLANES... WORKING ON THE 1969 Nova SS AND THE BLOWN 396... Women have been dying for a killer rejoinder to every man who ever said, "Hey hon, this Friday, me'n Gary'n Keith and Wilson are goin' (fishing, hunting, drinking, working on the car, etc.).

From here on out, when ANY guy wants to go do "X" with his buddies, all his "woman" will have to say is, "You're not going there to fish!" and BAM! The guy will reply, "Huh?! You're not - you're not thinkin'...NO WAY!" And next thing you know it, those wonderful Brookies are swimming safe while the guy is sweeping the garage, eyeing his fly-rod and muttering obscenities under his breath.

Men, do not let your women near this movie. It's a Trojan Horse wearing a dress.

And there IS something wrong with that.

YEEEEE HAW!!

THIS IS NOT A "MOCK" POST!

Dangit, but this thing is cool! It's wholly useless and dumber than picking your nose with a screwdriver on a bumpy bus...but in our world of war, famine, celebrities and pavement-bound SUVs, the OCTODOG is pure, pleasurable pointlessness.

In case you don't "get it" by clicking on the photo and headline link, the Octodog maker is a plastic device that changes a hotdog into an edible octopus-shaped "thing."

According the website, it does it SAFETLY. Evidently, people have been making Octodogs at their own peril for some time now... thank goodness for innovation.

Anyway, peace, love and Octodogs.

Born from JETS! JETS! See?!? SAAB's are like mini JETS! Don't you get it?!

SAABs are cool...at least the SAABs of fame like the 900, the Sonnet and the 9000 Turbo. SAAB made fighter planes in WWII and pioneered aircraft technology (yes, jets!) and performed so well that the rest of the aeronautical world muttered, "How the...did they do that?!" But now, SAAB is a sob story in the automotive world.

Fast forward to the 90's when GM bought SAAB. Why did GM buy SAAB? I don't know. But that's not important right now because RIGHT NOW, SAAB is sucking to the point of some $500 million dollars on GM's bank account.

The real question is "Why is SAAB sobbing?!"

A. SAAB was founded on cutting edge technology.
B. SAAB made a market niche on "unique" (remember their funky styling?).
C. SAAB also did the difficult-thing of sharing Volvo's niche of "safety."

Now, SAAB is owned by GM and uses GM and Subaru technology - good, but off-the-shelf. It's styling is no longer distinctive and "safety" is no where near their public image any more.

The "Born from jets" is supposed to awaken us to SAAB's heritage - but where's the Jet-like technology? Where is the unique styling (Hello, GM...Chrysler is all over you on this). Where is the discussion of safety?

Instead, "Born from jets" brings up images of something blown through the birth-canal of a red-hot afterburner - I can see molten metal sprayed out like baby poop...

"Born from Jets" is going to fail. Using a heritage as a sell-job is always a last-ditch defense but even more so when the heritage bears no resemblance to the offspring.

It's too bad - SAABs used to be so cool...back when they actually made jets.

The Emperor is naked no longer.

Remember the story, "The Emperor's New Clothes"?

No? It's about a rich, dumb king who's vanity requires having the best, most exclusive clothing. He's duped into going naked by two crooked (lazy, dishonest) tailors who charge him a lot of money for nothing. The king then parades his "new clothes" to his worshipful public who are too terrified or insecure to point out the king's absurd nudity.

In the end, a little boy is honest enough to call his bluff. The swindlers are fired and the King comes to his senses and covers up his (undoubtedly) icky nudity.

Advertising is like "clothing" - it is the visible representation of a company. All too often "Kings" (clients) are sold "clothing" (advertising) that appeals to their vanity rather than what is true, useful and desired by the customers.

It's very cool that McDonald's is addressing the issue of food quality. McDonald's has been "naked" (barfy food) for too long. But that doesn't mean they are a bad "king" - McDonald's are a remarkable food-distributor and their customers will appreciate a consistent-quality product that uses the miracle of mass-production to provide better prices.

Let's look forward to how the ad agencies (tailors) will convey McDonald's quality and value to its customers.

Maybe art school IS valuable...

I found this graphic in a commonly available clipart library.

Interestingly, the only person who seems to notice anything wrong with a one-legged woman* giving birth to a 6 year old is the doctor - and he looks positively scared out of his wits.

Would hate to see the c-section version of this little gem.



*Or maybe the baby ISN'T waving and that limb is actually mom's other deformed leg.

And since when do pregnant woment NOT have breasts?! Uh-oh -what if that's not a woman at all but a...?!?

Put a million Graphic Designers in a room with a Mac...

When I was a little kid, I remember listening to a group of my parents friends talking over cocktails. The conversation was steeped in importance and scotch - the prattle of big words mingled with the tink of booze-coated ice cubes.

Anyway, one of my dad's friends - "Paul" - said (rather pithily), "You know, it is said that if you put a million chimpanzees in a room with a million typewriters for a million years, they'd eventually type the Declaration of Independence!"

Judging from the five logos shown in the graphic above, the same monkey-million philosophy applies to Graphic Designers, too - give a million designers a million Macintoshes and eventually, they'll come up with the same logo.

Look for yourself - it's the SAME LOGO. Five different clients, five different proposals, five different invoices, five different checks, five different bank accounts. SAME LOGO.

At least Quark had the brains to trademark it, so I guess they win.

[Thank you to my buddy Lapwin in the Netherlands for this information - if he and I were on a desert island for a million years, we'd never agree on anything and we'd get along just fine.]

Gas made me kill!

According to Jeff Lenard, spokesman for the National Association of Convenience Stores, "As the price of gas climbs, people's values decline."

And, according to Jeff, this is the explanation as to why a gas-station owner is now dead. It's gas prices. Ah, yes. It was the gas. It was GAS that killed the man. Bad, bad gas. Rotten gas - if ONLY gas wasn't so expensive, that man would be alive today.

Well, now we know and now we have an excuse.

OR...we have a good reason for anyone who is acting as a "spokesman" to run his/her quotes before a few people before sending them out to the public. I don't believe that - deep down - Jeff believes that gas is responsible for the gas-station owner's death. But it sure sounds like it - and words associated with powerful images such as death and murder tend to imprint rather deeply in the psyche.

Most rational people "know" that gas doesn't dictate a culture's value-system. But "... if a lie is told enough, it becomes the truth." At least that's what Adolph Hitler said.

My sincere sadness for the family of the gas-station owner...and for the soul of the thief.

40 years and 375 calories later...

Poor girl. She needed to gain 5lbs. So, she did what any weight-conscious waif would do - she kicked back a few cans of Nutrament (tm) and its 375 mass-making calories.

Now, here are the figures.

1lb of fat = 3,500 calories. (let's assume she wants some soft curves and soft curves come from fat).

5lbs of fat = 17,500 calories...17,500 calories in ADDITION to what she's already eating.

Let's assume that she's burning every calorie she eats up until critical mass - the point she decides to gain weight (stop laughing!). So, she decides to lean on the Nutrament at 375 calories per can.

Nancy has three options: (rounding the numbers)

1 can of Nutrament(tm) a day for 47 days.

2 cans of Nutrament(tm) a day for 23 days

3 cans of Nutrament(tm) a day for 16 days

Having drank a few cans of Nutrament during Jr. High School wrestling, I can safetly guess that Nancy wouldn't be drinking more than 3 cans of Nutrament(tm) a day, so we'll leave it at that.

The point here is not that it takes a lot of Nutrament(tm) to gain weight. Neither is the point that Nancy wanted to gain weight at all - though it seems rather weird.

The point is that Nancy needed to WORK to gain weight.

The ad is clipped from Reader's Digest and published in 1968 - almost 40 years ago. Back in '68, most meals were eaten at home, fast-food was rare and processed food was just beginning to find its way into our guts in the form of "TV Dinners."* There were no Mocha Latte's, no four-bucks four-bucks four-bucks four-bucks, no Buy-one, get one, and even Soda pop was sold in 12oz bottles (unlike the the massive plastic scuba tanks sold today).

Today, we eat more food and eat more of the wrong kinds of food. Read for yourself...

http://www.naaso.org/statistics/obesity_trends.asp

At any rate, back in '68, people were slimmer and ate less. Gaining weight was WORK.

Ok, sermon done (almost). I thought you might find the above ad interesting.

Oh...one more thing. And this is marketing-related. Can you figure out how Nutrament(tm) would be marketed today? Can you imagine seeing the above ad in the local paper or woman's magazine?

Hmmm...let's see here. How about this headline -

"I LOST 5lbs and look so much better in my clothes. Nutrament(tm) helped me do it!"

After all, it has ONLY 375 calories.

Sympathy for the Devil - a brand-makeover for Al Queda

"Branding" is an essential discipline in modern communications. From automobiles to burgers to world-terror, interested audiences & consumer groups are constantly filtering a barrage of information to pick the brands that resonate, lead and inspire.


Mercedes does a great job of branding. Everyone knows Mercedes is a quality, prestige car.

McDonalds does a great job of branding. Everyone know's McDonalds is consistent, fast food.

Nike does a great job of branding. Everyone knows Nike is footwear worn by great athletes.

Even "Barney" is a great brand. Everyone knows the purple dinosaur means fun for toddlers.

Al Queda - the terrorist organization - has been trying to build their global brand as a retro-idealist anti-American group since at least September 11th, 2001 and frankly, their efforts suck.

Al Queda - the brand - needs a dramatic makeover if it's going to compete in the global marketplace. The photo above tells all...these guys just can't seem to market themselves out of the 16th Century!

Using the Biblical example of the Good Samaritan, the following advice/critique is offered.

1. Ditch the name.

It's unpronounceable. "Al Kayduh"? "El Keyeduh"? "El Keeda"? It's also too vague. With the Palestine LIberation Organization (PLO), everyone knows the mission - liberate Palestine! But as it is, the name Al Queda is a better name for a cosmetic.

Skin cream: "Al Queda - moisturizing, with Aloe."
Gay cologne: "Al Queda - the romance of 101 Arabian Knights!"
Shampoo: "Al Queda - fortified with amino essence for thicker roots."


2. Get a consistent spokesperson.

First it's an old guy. Then a young guy. Then THIS guy. Just who is the face of Al Queda?! Maybe they're having trouble staying in one place or maybe the membership list is changing fast. Dunno. But Al Queda could get a better face. They need to find the "Ronald McDonald" of terror.


3. Ditch the attitude.

The raised finger has got to go - it's a gesture that has too narrow of an appeal. It reeks of "dysfunctional dad" and considering Al Queda's preference for recruiting young idealistic males, it's a turn-off. I can just hear it, "Shut UP! I KNOW how to strap the stupid bomb on, OK?!"


4. New clothes. Now.

The black/white dicotomy is inconsistent with the single-focused message. Try a single, primary color like yellow. And the turban is either done well or not-at-all. The Hindus have great turbans - they're tall, white and look great with a big'ole ruby or emerald in the middle. The Al Queda variety looks like it was thrown-on on the run.


5. Lock up the guns.

First, the AK-47 is too 60's - an era that is becoming universally acknowledged as just plain dumb. "Tune in, turn on and drop out" of the old-style blow-back recoil, heavy cartridges, guys. Al Queda needs a weapon that says "now". Think "lightsaber".


6. Publicity photos! (not on-the-fly candids).

It's the same shot - yellling man appearing to be saying "AAAAAAAHHHH!" or "OOOOOOOOOOOO!" Al Queda needs to think about some thoughtful, well-lit black and whites. Plus the poofy-hair around the lips make it look like they've been trying to kiss bees.



(sigh)

That's enough freebie advice. I have one more key/mission-critical point that will guarantee the long-term positive impact of the Al Queda brand, but considering how fragmented and disorganized they are, it won't be of any use unless I can get them to sit down in one place for a meeting.

That's right...every single living Al Queda member needs to be in the same place, at the same time to hear it.

Yep. The same geographical, physical coordinates. Every last one of them.

Then, and only then, can we change the Al Queda brand into something positive.



Of course, once we get them in one place, we'll need a whole bunch of security... ;)

The French are different. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

I guess this is to appeal to the anxiety people experience with Paris's subway system - it turns us into scared, situationally-challenged bunnies!

The French, however, must experience this sense of terror more often than others.

Or, maybe the subway doors are faster than a rabbit? No...that kind of cruelty is for the Germans or the Chicago Transit Authority.

Or, maybe the warning is only to rabbits? No...rabbits can't read. But, then again, they're FRENCH rabbits, which means they're SMARTER than other rabbits...

Naw.

The French are just weird.

The Whirlpool Food Converter

Convertible vegetables/meats.

Dad: (exclaims, holding refrigerator door open) Dangit!

Mom: What's wrong, honey?

Dad: You bought parsnips again!

Mom: What's wrong, honey?

Dad: They're an inconvertible vegetable!


Ok - does this mean there are vegetables that are convertible into other things - metals, plastics, elastic polymers? Or perhaps, there are some kind of "sporty" vegetables that benefit from a "top-down" treatment?

What about the "/meats"? Does this mean that there are some convertible meats, too? Maybe there's a vegetable/meat catagory - kind of like, "plant flesh"?

Bah.

This industro-copy is probably written by the same people who deemed the lunchbox, "a food storage system."

From here, you can see Cupertino!

Definition: "Vista"

noun [C]

1. LITERARY; a view, especially a splendid view from a high position.
Example: After a hard climb, we were rewarded by a picture-postcard vista of rolling hills under a deep blue summer sky.

2. a possible future action or event that you can imagine.
Example: As leader, he opened up exciting vistas of global co-operation.

(from Cambridge Advanced Learner's Dictionary)

OR...

3. the edge of a cliff.
Example: I bought Microsoft's new operating system, "Vista" and all it did was take me to the edge and make me look longingly for some other place far off into the horizon.

Microsoft blew it. Vista is a bum name for a new software.

Now, naming things for commerce isn't easy. There's always the risk of some fly-in-the-ointment just rotting away for that day of exposure...

Mother1 to Mother 2 at grocery store: Oh look! Jif Peanut Butter is on sale!

Mother 2 to Mother 1: Eeeeew. Jif!

Mother1: What's wrong with Jif?!

Mother 2: Well, probably nothing, but did you know that "Jif" is the Hindu god of explosive diarrhea?!"

Mother 1: NO! YUCK! (grabs a jar of Peter Pan Chunky).


While Microsoft's new operating system, "Vista," may not cause explosive diarrhea, it does miss the point of software completely - to work, NOW.

The picture attached is of Microsoft's own homepage. It shows a climber looking out over an expansive...well, vista. Nice visual. Except that most computer users don't want to climb mountains only to be greated with a chasm between them and their destination. Computer users want their computer to work. NOW.


Fast forward to 2006...

Computer user 1: Man, I just installed Vista!

Computer user 2: Really? How is it?

Computer user 1: It took me four hours, I sweated, I grunted, I groaned and finally, just when I was about to give up, I reached the top! A successful installation!

Computer user 2: Really? How is it?

Computer user 1: Well, I think I can see how it might work!


Of course, the idea of a technological Vista is somewhat romantic - computers afford great promise; to manage enterprise, create art, communicate with the world, etc. Microsoft wants to be known as far-reaching, progressive - a worthy ambition. But average people aren't as taken by company mission-statements. Average people want software, products, ideas that simply work, NOW.

What Microsoft should have done is create a name that provides the user what they want - a computer OS that works NOW. Right now. As in, "install this and do what you want to do, now."

"Microsoft Now. The most amazing operating system on earth, Now."

Well, anyway, we'll see. Maybe I'm wrong. 2006 is a long way away in computer-terms. But from what I hear from Windows users, they've been sitting atop their own "vista" for quite some time.

Sadvertising - I'm sticking to it.

The advertising/marketing profession is the most powerful profession on earth, bar none. Marketers control words, pictures and ideas that are transacted as effortlessly as breathing.

This blog was created to critique and parody my profession's sloppy practices: needless negativity, short-sighted strategies, hypocrisy, self-importance, lies... This is called "Sadvertising."

"Sadvertising" is everywhere and its influence on average life is a lot like the famous story, The Princess and the Pea - its source may be hidden, but its effect is noticed. When negativity, short-sightedness, hypocrisy, self-importance, lies, etc. are commonly transacted, the result is that the bar of standards is lowered.

In practice, a line of poorly written copy on the back of a Diet Pepsi bottle doesn't change the earth's rotation. It doesn't create serial kilers. It doesn't incite race riots. But if you believe that one drop can raise the ocean, that little line of copy becomes more significant. As the Bible states, "A little leaven wrecks the loaf."

So far, most of the readers here are people of influence - CEOs, entrepreneurs, leaders. If, by repetition and suggestion, one of these people of influence raise their own standards, change will happen and that change can't help but be positive.

That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

Diet Pepsi Smarts.

It's a good bet that there's a little bit of tension in the Pepsi family marketing departments. How so? Five words - "Smart," "Choice," "Among," "Soft" and "Drinks."

If Diet Pepsi were a stand-alone brand, it'd be one thing. But that Diet Pepsi is part of a family of brands, it doesn't make much sense to be dissing the bro down the hall, especially using the word "smart." If you're not smart, you're...average? Mediocre? Maybe...DUMB?!

***************

Scene: The offices of Diet Pepsi's marketing department. Rich woods, marble flooring and beautiful Persian rugs are the decor - bookcases of gilt-edged, leather bound works of super-smart genius writers line the atrium. Staff are having thoughtful discussions over snifters of cognac and plates of exotic cheeses.

Vivaldi's Four Seasons is being played by a tuxedoed quartet. A waterfall bubbles in the background. An English butler stands at the ready besides a mahogany desk. water-cooler.

Suddenly, the 10-paneled cherry-wood door opens and a roughly dressed, unshaven man stumbles in like a drunken Bill Murray. The room becomes silent and all eyes train on the ill-dressed man that has noisily intruded their abode.


Diet Pepsi butler: Excuse me...do we...know you?

Guy: Yo! Check the digs of this place! This's LIVIN!

Diet Pepsi butler: May we be...of service somehow...Mister...?

Guy: Call me Billy-bob! (extends hand for handshake). Don't mind the open sores. We'been blowin up firecrackers!

Diet Pepsi butler: (looks at swollen, puss-filled hand) "No thank you."

Guy: AnyHOO, I'm from down the hall - ya know, Mountain DEW? We're the piss-yeller pop with caffeine?! (laughs).

Diet Pepsi butler: Please state your purpose.

Guy: Well, we done busted the copier playin with Ellie May's rottweiler and we need to borrow some ink toner. Got some?

Diet Pepsi butler: No. Please leave.

Guy: Well, guess we're fired then. Ok, see ya'at the company picnic - and bring yer gater wrastlin clothes!

(door slams, the quartet begins where it stopped, the thoughtful discussions on developing the Diet Pepsi brand resume)

**********************



Appreciating that Diet Pepsi drinkers are not likely to cross brands, it's still no reason to cast disrespect on the other Pepsi brands. The current wording is too negative and too...well, "nothing."

How about this:

"Diet Pepsi is the perfect soft drink for people who can sacrifice calories, carbs and sugar, but not taste."

This copy hits the main attributes of DP and presents them in a positive light, emphasizing DP's differentiator over its competition, taste without demeaning the sister brands.


One positive note - the DP label copy did inspire my thirst; a thirst for the ultimate ZERO carb, ZERO calorie, ZERO sugar beverage...WATER.

And I can drink as much as I want for free. Smart, huh?

Buick Blech.

Buick,
originally uploaded by wily.

Buick is not just a car company anymore.

Whew!

I remember back when Buick WAS "just a car company."

Don't you?

Remember driving by the grayed out Buick lots and how depressed they made you feel? Remember meeting your first Buick salesperson? Remember their ashen skin, their sunken eyes, their dragging gate? Remember the way they'd shake your hand just a little too long - their pleading looks, their sallow faces that seemed to beg for something but couldn't quite express what?

Remember the Buick cars? Remember how your energy - even optimism for life itself - seemed to pool in your feet and threaten to leak out as a clear, waxy pus whenever you rode in one? Remember how your head would feel stuffy and your memory seemed to be hazy even after the shortest of rides?

Remember the Buick showrooms - you know, the ones lit by bare incandescent bulbs in moldy basements?

Remember the Buick car ads? Do you recall the one where the bland family gets into their new Buick station wagon and cries? That's all they do...cry.


Remember when Buick was "just a car"?

On the surface, this web-ad is designed to entice the consumer-crowd that Buick is becoming a vehicle manufacturer that sells SUT/SUV/Minivan type vehicles.

But the underlying message is this - "You've ignored Buick before because it wasn't noteworthy. But now, since we've departed from what Buick was, Buick is better!"

Read between the lines - Buick is a brand in search of an identity.

It's rather surprising that Buick let this ad out at all. It's demeaning to current Buick owners and solidly positions the new product line as an after-thought.

In all fairness, Buick could have made this idea work - at least better.

Instead of the negative comparison and overly-optimistic hope-mongering, Buick could have said something like -

Three new SUV's worthy of the Buick name.

Groceries to Grandparents, in Buick style.

The Buick family is growing, just like yours.


Instead, Buick chooses to dis itself and its customers.

A while ago, Oldsmobile brought out, "This is not your father's Oldsmobile."

It insulted dad.

It made growing old sound bad.

Dad's Oldsmobile could have been a darned good car (the 442 was pretty cool, too).


I'm smelling a GM downsize of another brand.

PLEASE don't let it be Pontiac (Pontiac still has a Brand).

Take Buick.

They're just a car company.

Good is good enough.

HyVee,
originally uploaded by wily.

Currently, the wave of business-talk is about "...exceeding expectations."

There is an intrinsic problem with "...exceeding expectations" - the expectation will soon exceed all abilities to satisfy it.

Here's how it works.

Start: I expect a great hamburger.

Next: I get a great hamburger.

Next: The great hamburger becomes the standard.

Next: The standard becomes the expectation.

Result: The great hamburger is not great anymore.

Next: Hamburger is FREE! with the purchase of a Star Wars toy.


Can a business continually "exceed expectations"?

Can God create a rock so big He can't move it?


Now, onto the attached graphic - can the HyVee pharmacy provide a guarantee that is BEYOND the limit?

Can HyVee provide 110% service?

Of course not.

Yes, I see that the 110% is actually a reflection of the 10% price guarantee, but it's a stretch and more of a reflection of poor copywriting and concepting skills.

Anyway, this is just a gimmick. Everyone knows that the whole is the sum of its parts.

2+2 cannot equal 5.

The problem with these messages is not that they're cheesy gimmicks, but that they - well intentioned or not - set an unreasonable tone that eventually jades the market place.

A long time ago, I created a slogan for a company that used the word "good."

The client wanted "great."

Actually, the client wanted, "GREAT!!!!"

The problem was, we weren't GREAT!!! nor would we EVER be.

But we could always be "Good."

Damn good, in fact.

Scary good!

"Good" was a word people could understand.

"Great" is a word that sets some pretty tall expectations. Most of the time, they fall short.

I suspect HyVee wants to be good.

Damn good.

Scary good.

And so, I suggest that they eliminate the 110% slogan and go with something they can manage...

Like...

HyVee Pharmacy - the most expensive pharmacy on EARTH!

HyVee Pharmacy - have your arm & leg ready at the payment window!

HyVee Pharmacy - so expensive, Bill Gates makes payments.

or

HyVee Pharmacy - everyone on earth says we suck.


Then, even the slightest gesture of employee kindness is going to be seen as a blow-mind experience.

Customer: I had this amazing experience today.

Customer's friend: Oh yeah?

Customer: Yeah. I had to get my Vicodin refilled.

Customer's friend: Oh yeah?

Customer: Yeah. At HyVee.

Customer's friend: Oh noo!

Customer: No! It was actually...pretty cool! The girl was very nice, she said hello and everything!

Customer's friend: Noo! Hello?!?

Customer's friend: Yeah! Then she said THANK YOU!

Customer's friend: I don't believe it!

Customer: It is true! Then...you know what?!?

Customer's friend: No! Tell me!

Customer: She stapled the receipt to the bag and actually billed my insurance company!

Customer's friend: You're kidding! I'm going to have to go there!


Hmmm.

Or maybe they could just promise to give 50%.




Side note...

HyVee is a regional grocery store that has a reputation for excellent service and great training of young people. My family shops there and we like it.

Ivory1

Ivory1,
originally uploaded by wily.

It's called "brand extension" and it's a little like how a publicly held corporation uses a stock split to increase prices - take a well defined product and bring a variant of that product to the market place.

It works like this:

Camaro. Camaro Z28. Camaro Z28 IROC. Camaro Z28 IROC convertible. Camaro Z28 IROC convertible with pickles.

He he he. "...with pickles." I'm laughin.

ANYway - "brand extensions" can be a great way to build awareness of a product, steal market share from a competive product or even grow one's own category. I learned a lesson in succesful brand extension when working on Gummy Bears a looooong time ago. The guy who brought Gummy Bears to the USA took the same sugary glop used to make the little mutated bears and poured them into molds to make little mutated dinosaurs. Same gummy. Different shape. More sales.

It seems the MPs at Proctor & Gamble (Marketing People) have decided to have a crack at Brand Extension Game (BEG) with their venerable brand, Ivory Soap.

They made it green. With "aloe."

The accompanying graphic is from the back of a bar of this new "GREEN" Ivory soap.

The green is authentic - the bar in its entirety was plopped onto the scanner. Yeah, Ivory is supposed to be WHITE.

Smartly, the MPs decided to keep the name "IVORY" and not call it "GREEN." Actually, it's more "Mint" or "Sour Apple" - all of which suck as a brand name for soap.

(time-out; note-to-self - "mint" might actually make a good name for a soap, but the packaging would have to be perfect...)

ANYway...

This isn't so much a post about Ivory's choice of color/name as it is their choice of packaging. Each GREEN bar of IVORY has a different (actually 5 so far) zen-ish phrase printed on it. It's designed (presumably) to provoke thought and life-improving introspection.

And here's the rub - if you don't want to read the quote for yourself it's:

"Complicating life is easy.
The genius is in the simple things."

What can be more life-complicating than pausing for religion while opening a bar of SOAP!??!

Maybe this is a product for power-packed people who live life by the mili-second - you know, the people who take their cell phones and Daytimer's in to pee...

Again -

"Complicating life is easy.
The genius is in the simple things."


YES! YES! COMPLICATING LIFE IS EASY! IT'S AS EASY AS PUTTING CHURCH ON A SOAP WRAPPER!

THE GENIUS...I REPEAT...THE GENIUS WAS IN...

IVORY - 99.9% PURE.


btw - I scanned more wrappers. More later.

A wedge of President.

President,
originally uploaded by wily.

In the Northwest Airlines $3 snack box, there's...

1. A spiced sausage
2. Two celophane-wrapped sesame crackers
3. A soft granola Chewy Bar
4. A small bag of dried fruit
5. Two Oreo cookies
6. A moistened, scented, antibacterial towlette
7. A napkin

and

8. A wedge of President

Have a good look at the attached graphic as it is the sole identifier on a silver, foil-wrapped wedge.

Nothing but what you see - one label, one word - "PRESIDENT".

Whatever is inside, it's "President."

A Wedge of President.

I have to admit...

...until last week, I didn't know what "President" was.

At least, "President" in it's foil wrapped wedge form.

Thankfully, a well-done illustration can communicate across cultures, languages and even into my sheltered naivete.

Beholding the smallish, 2" long wedge of President, I gathered that President...

A. Causes a yellowish discharge to ooze out of the mouth.

B. Is invisible.

C. Causes the pupils to dilate in a big way.

D. Makes you very, very h a p p y.


Scene - dark, overgrown hedgerow of a park on the wrong side of town. A rough, unshaven man in a green military trench coat approaches a mild-mannered father sitting on a park bench, reading the Sunday paper

"Hey...hey...you looking to score some weed?"

"No. No man. I don't do drugs."

"Hash?"

"No man..." (gets up to walk away)

"Some crank man? Some crank...?"

"No...please...I'm not here to..."

"You want some...PRESIDENT?!"

President. From the illustration, it's pretty powerful stuff!

But in practice, I must have a high tolerance for President as it didn't do anything for me.

Neither did it do anything for my colleage.

We sat...nibbling...(we figured we couldn't smoke it)...waiting...waiting...

No rabid frothing.

No disappearing substances.

No dilation.

No fun.

Just a small 2" x .5" wedge of President in our tummies.

Well, at least now I know.

When I'm meeting with dignitaries, and the butler offers the tray of President, I can make that upper-crust wave of my right hand that says, "No-no. Shoo! Begone with that President!"

When someone at the gallery auction complains about the tainted Fois Gras and the inferior President, I can roll my eyes along with them in sympathetic discomfort.

President.

Well, if you're flying Northwest, and the flight attendant offers you the $3 snack box, it's a pretty good deal.

The sausage wasn't bad - a bit heavy on the vinegar and pepper, but suprisingly lean and firm.

The Oreos were Oreos. Consistent. Assuring.

The dried fruit was great - lots of dried cherries in my bag.

The crackers were dry and crunchy as expected.

The granola bar was chewy.

The towlette smelled pretty good and left behind a satisfying, clean feeling.

The napkin was rather generous.

But...

I don't recommend the President.

At least until we find out what it is.

For sure.

Super ear!

Super ear!,
originally uploaded by wily.

Oh yeah...you need this!


Oh yeah. Nothing - except maybe a black face mask and the smell of meth - says "Scary Neighbor!" like a PORTABLE LISTENING DEVICE!

The company name is of equal note - "Spion." Get it? SPY ON?

Anyway, love the model - 'wonder how many of these are sold to attractive brunettes versus fleshy bald guys who tend not to ever leave the house except to...well, fill in the blank here.

No matter. Any self-respecting spy with every-day spy experience will instantly see that the Robby-Robot headphones and power-washer-sized microphone is just too cumbersome.

Receipt of Seven Service Basics

Walgreens,
originally uploaded by wily.

Empowering employees is good.

Giving them understanding of their work is good.

Communicating to employees how their work affects the customer is good.

But timing is everything.

I want to experience the "Seven Service basics (whatever)" before. Not after. And I sure hope Ashlee isn't charged with getting that across after I've transacted my order.

"Hey Ashlee...I know there are fifteen people waiting to check out, but could you take a moment and describe these 7 steps as indicated on the receipt?"

Hmmmm. Marketing people. (sigh).

The wonderous Quickee Dawg™!

The wonderous Quickee Dawgâ„¢,
originally uploaded by wily.

Now, lousy hotdogs, ANY TIME!



[FROM WILY'S HUGE COLLECTION OF JUNKIE STUFF HAWKED IN AIRLINE SEAT-POCKET CATALOGS]


Can you believe it?! That unique, unsatisfying taste of a meat-like hotdog heated on metal rollers for 72 hours - ANY TIME!

You don't have to go to a convenience store or a high school basketball game, ANY MORE!

Awful idea. Awful, awful, awful idea.

In case you're from the class that's wondering what's going on, here's the scoop -

Sometimes - and I swear this is true - convenience stores buy these "rotisserie" machines to cook hotdogs. Drunk college kids buy them.

Anyway, the rollers are super-heated, and raw (are the ever REALLY raw?) hotdogs are placed on the rollers and - over time - the hotdawgs are heated to a kind of warmth.

It's disturbing - brown, shriveled meat tubes rolling and rolling (forever rolling!), the bzzwhooozzzbzzwhooozbzzwhooz of the electric motor...sometimes, a wiff of hickory smoke. Sometimes the "zzhat!" of a drop of grease hitting a heating element.

No one buys them, so they just roll and roll and roll...until...well, 3am Friday night rolls around or, well...Armagedon, I guess.

Ok. I'm exagerating. Ok, let's call it...96 hours. Give or take.

But, that's not all - this ad promises to "Grill the perfect hotdog every time without greasy frying pans."

Uh...psst. Grills are grills. Frying pans are frying pans. If yer fryin', ya'ain't grillin.'

These hotdogs aren't fried OR grilled. They're HEAT ROLLED!

But then again, this was thunk-up by people who actually like this kind of hotdog.

"Hey Gary (the head engineer). You got any gum?"

"Sure" (digs a pencil eraser out of front pocket)

"Uh. That's not gum. It's a pencil eraser."

"Gee! You're picky!"


Hmmmm. That was a little mean. Alright, Gary's not THAT obtuse.


Gary - could you put that ol'thinkin'noggin' to work on figer'in how I can have Squirrel on a Skewer like me'n Chig used to get at the County Fair?

Fear - abridged

This is the abridged version of the last post.

Try this yourself - go to any of the major internet news sites - CNN, Foxnews, MSNBC, CBS, etc., and count the headlines and messages that are purient, deviant, negative, controversial or tragic.

You know what you'll find, but give it a try to really see for yourself how negative our culture is.

Ever wonder what the cume effect of such a huge portion of negativity is on us?

So, so, so much of our culture is built around the urgent, the important, the critical.

Negativity has become so loud, that we can't scarcely hear it.

Life is transacted out of fear rather than opportunity.

Does it do any good at all to know how a little girl spent her last few moments of life at the hands of a demonic predator?

Does it do any good to hear that gas prices "could" reach a bancrupting level?

Does it do any good to know how a dead soldier's mother feels after her son's funeral is interupted by war protesters?

Does it do any good to know that a finger was found in a bowl of chili? Does it do any good to know that it was all made up? Does it do any good to know that the perpetrator is a habitual liar?


What do we really need to know here?

Is there a major difference between what you WANT to know?


Inquiring minds want to know.

And if our culture is going to survive, thrive - inquiring minds must know.

Pay a lot of attention to the man behind the curtain.

When you're done reading this, click on the title of this blog - It'll take you to CNN.com.

But don't do it yet. Wait until the end of the blog; an interesting experience awaits.

Until then...

In the movie, "The Wizard of Oz," Dorothy, the Tin Man, The Lion and the Scarecrow wanted to see the Wizard. The Wizard was supposed to hold the knowledge for Dorothy to leave the wierd world of Oz and return to her farm home in Kansas.

After a harrowing journey, the four finally get to meet the Wizard. This keeper of wisdom and knowledge turns out to be a terrifying mint-green head that scowls and yells - those who meet with the wizard are bullied into cowering submission.

Thunder, smoke and lightning - "WHO DARES TO SEEK THE MIGHTY WIZARD?!"

People shaking, quaking, biting their nails..."Wh'wh..why, it is...I, m-m-mister wwww-wizard..."

While Dorothy, the Tin Man, The Lion and The Scarecrow wet themselves in awe, Dorothy's little dog toto walks over to a benign curtain and, curious about the strange activity that seems to be going on from behind, innocently opens the curtain to reveal that The Wizard is actually just a quirky old man who's manipulating the entire experience.

There is no mint-green, scowling wizard.

It's just a guy with a machine.

Suddenly, Dorothy & Co. are no longer afraid. In fact, they get rather mad at the "wizard" and rightly so.



Fear is a big business.

Fear is effective business, that's for sure.


One of advertising's most effective tools is "fear." Fear you won't be liked. Fear you won't succeed. Fear you won't have the right knowledge. Fear you will end up in danger.


As a motivational tool, Fear is a prime driver. Fear puts a promise - a tangible face - the unknown.

In some cases, fear can be helpful - Cancer Insurance, for example, might be good if the evil "Big C" ever shows up. But, if one never gets cancer, Cancer Insurance is a waste of money. Sure, the peace-of-mind has a benefit, but would the money spent on Cancer Insurance buy just as much "peace of mind" if it were spent on a trip to Fiji?


You could die in a car wreck tomorrow and all that thought, worry - FEAR - about cancer were for naught. You should have been worrying about a CAR WRECK!


Did you buy a Lexus because their reliability wouldn't leave you on a stranded road?

Did you buy a Bentley because a Lexus was sort of, common?

Did you take the promotion because it may be the only chance to get to the 'next level'?


You get where this is going...and chances are good you're coming up with a hundred arguements against the hidden logic that fear is ruling your, our lives. And if you're coming into acceptance of this prime-driver 'fear', you might be tempted to think that "a little bit of fear" is good.

"It's good to fear rattlesnakes."

or

"I should be afraid of serial killers."


Make no mistake about it - there are threats to peace, health and happiness out there.

However, fear is just one motivator. The other - as often stated - is a word that's less-often understood; Opportunity.

One word controls.

The other word empowers.


Yet one or the other is going to be the prime driver in decisions - individually, corporately.


The marketers of information know this and frankly, "Fear" is the easiest tool to use.


Fear dictates the terms of its own engagement. Fear puts someone, something else in the position of authority.

Opportunity, on the other hand, is self-driven. It puts the owner in the position of authority.


"If you die tomorrow, will you have enough money to feed your family?" (fear)

vs.

"What can I do to increase my wealth?" (opportunity)



"If I wear Brand X shirts instead of Wal-Mart shirts, I will look better." (fear)

vs.

"It is cold. I need a shirt to keep me warm. I personally prefer green shirts." (opportunity)


This seems all-too basic. All-too common-sense. All-too easy to circumvent.


But this fear-based motivation is so pervasive, you may not be aware of the man in the curtain.



Click on the headline - it will take you to CNN.com. It could take you to foxnews.com, msnnbc.com, netscape.com, The New York Times.com.

It could take you to your local news.

It could take you to the cover of Cosmopolitan magazine.

It could take you anywhere messages are peddled.

(no offense, CNN!)

But when you get there, count the number of headlines that are negative. Count the number of headlines that feature some kind of controversy or conspiracy.

Do it today. Do it tomorrow. Do it next week.

You'll get the same result - there are a lot of negative, fearsome messages out there and they're coming at you day after day after day after day...


Joseph Goebels, the infamous Minister of Propaganda for Hitler's "3rd Reich" practiced the philosophy of, (paraphrased) "If you tell someone something enough times, they will believe a lie."

Now, it's very useful to know when there are serial killers about. But do we need to know the details of their victim's awful deaths?

It's assuring to know that unethical CEOs are going to prison. But do we need to analyze their wrong behaviour?

It's important to understand the plight of our soldiers while they are away at war. But do we need to see a soldier's mom crying in front a protester?

What good - real good - does it do?

Are people really more attractive because they wear X?

Will people really spend more time with their family if they use Quick-ee meals?

Are all-you-can eat buffet's really a good deal?



The result of this exersize is simply to pull the curtain away - to reveal the quaking, the shaking, behind the curtain as well as that which goes on in front of the smoking phantom...

Forgive them. They know not what they're saying.

The Sunday Paper.

In our neighborhood, it's 2, maybe 3 pounds of dead tree.

Killing trees for paper isn't all bad.

Dead trees revolutionized the world. (The printing press).

Dead trees keep the world informed (Good newspapers).

Dead trees provide interesting diversions (model airplane instructions).

Dead trees keep our hands clean (towlettes).

Dead trees make wealth portable (checks, paper money).


Dead trees can be good.

Again, our Sunday paper is 2-3 pounds of dead tree.

Coupons make up about half a pound.

Half a pound of coupons.


Multiplied across the world, there are a lot of trees dying to be coupons.


If you're going to die for something - it'd better be important.

Today - like any other Sunday paper - the half-pound of coupons were trying hard to be important.

$4.49...

Buy one, get one free...

Buy one, get one for half price...

Two for one...

Any large for...

First-time customer offer...

Oil change for...


They're all saying the same thing.

"I'm not worth regular price."


Long John Silvers™ gave no reason to buy their battered fish/chicken other than a "deal."

Pizza Hut™ gave no reason to buy their pizzas other than a "deal."

Vitamin World® (Gotta' hand it to them for clarity in naming) gave no reason to buy their world of vitamins other than 50% off.

Pearl Vision® gave no clear insight (pun!) into why their glasses were worth anything other than 50% off.


Nope.

Just a "deal."


It's like the Koi Pond (expensive, huge goldfish) at the Omaha Zoo - hundreds of bloated fish gulp $.25 handfuls of pelletized fish food thrown from entertainment-hungry visitors.

Kind of like coupons, only it's hard to tell who's the fish - the merchant or the consumer.

But the message is clear.

Feed me.

Feed me.

Feed me.


Merchants take note - are your products worth more than a discount?

Customers take note - are your values worth more than an cheap price?


The price of advertising is not cheap, even at $.0275 per insert. In case you're curious, franchise systems can take as much as 15% in advertising and promotion dollars and give back out the same - if not more - in discounts. And all the while, very little useful information is provided other than the visual noise of prices, offers and calls-to-urgency that expire in 30 days.


Very little information, indeed.


Would you like to know why Long John Silvers™ is a good place to eat?

Would you like to know why Pizza Hut™ deserves to be included in the entertainment budget?

Would you like to know why Pearl Vision® is a good place to get glasses?

Would you like to know...?


Merchants who rely on a heavy coupon strategy would do well to search deeply about the integrity of their business.

Consumers who base their choices on coupon strategies would do well to question their value systems - Price, Quality, Service; pick 2.


Two weeks ago, a friend of mine brought a concept called "Peak Oil." It's the idea that oil consumption will reach a point where the supply is no longer sustainable at low prices, resulting in ever-escalating oil costs and a crash of the world economy.

In the discussion, we wondered what businesses would survive and which ones would fail.

Interestingly, the ones that we figured would survive were businesses we valued for their service, their quality, their value.

But never their cheapness.

Never the discount.

I'm not much of a "Peak Oil" apocalyptic. I fell asleep at 10:30pm on the night the Millenium Bug was supposed to destroy civilization. But if Pizza Rodeo® can't make it without a $9.99 blahblahblah now, how will they survive when delivery-car gas is $10 a gallon?

Our Sunday paper is 2-3 pounds; half of a pound are coupons.

A lot of trees died for those coupons.

What they had to say wasn't worth much.

We have a "relationship." Can we advertise now?

Relationships.

They are everywhere.

With socks. It's a useful relationship. High maintenance, though.

With gear shift knobs. It's a fussy relationship.

With parents. It's not as good as it could be.

With coworkers. Pretty good, actually.

With grocery stores. Only if they don't smell like rotting meat.

With spoons. I have a consistently good relationship with spoons and depend on them for consistent dining.

With my bank. They have managed to keep my money safe, so this is a good relationship.


In town here, a bank is spending major money touting their "Building relationships..."

This is called "Selling Steam."*

It's a technique used when there is nothing better to sell.

Here's how it works.

If you can't sell a car on performance, reliability or price, sell the idea that you're nice people.

If your food isn't unique, good or cheap, sell the idea that you support the community.

If your beer isn't tasty, rare or widely available, sell the idea that it's funny.

If your bank can't retrieve your money, operate ethically or be competitive on rates, talk about relationships.

Cynicism is founded on unmet expectations and broken promises. It takes a lot of work to keep integrity - God knows I've failed in my own attempt.

But it's far easier to hide mediocrity in something one can't quite get a hand on versus one that's tangible.

A long time ago, a friend of mine who owns a number of pizza restaurants was furious at the mother-office's seeming lack of passion in creating great food with excellent recipes.

Looking at the advertisements - carefully designed to 'cut through the clutter' with witty sayings and clever graphics, he fairly pleaded, "Can't we serve great food?!"

It's as simple as that. Sell the substance. And make sure the substance is substantive.

As consumers, we crave substance. We need substance. We need information. We need something to expect - something to believe in.

We want restaurants that make excellent, wholesome food in clean environments.

We want cars that are reliable and constructed well.

We want beer that is tasty.

We want banks that manage our finances with care.

When these things happen, then and only then, do we have a relationship worth talking about.

And 'talk about' we will - to our friends.

The start of this Blog

It's called "sadvertising."

Actually, it started out as "badvertising" but this free Blog-ware wouldn't allow the name.

That means, someone else picked it first. Someone else had a similar idea.

Someone else is disappointed by bad, sad advertising, too.

It's an easy guess to make - we're all disappointed by bad, sad advertising.

And here's your, our forum.

First, a little bit about me - I am the president of an advertising agency. I have won more awards than need to be counted. I have created products and ideas that have changed industries. I am good at what I do and have the jealous critics to prove it. I know what I write about by virtue of experience, success.

In one statement - the state of advertising in America sucks and it has negatively effected the quality of life of everyone.

"Sadvertising" creates unrealistic expectations - those unmet expectations encourage cynicism and rancor.

"Sadvertising" promotes intellectual laziness - that laziness reduces the individual's ability to reason and act.

"Sadvertising" communicates untruth - this distorts reality and cheapens character.

"Sadvertising" is cheaply made - this devalues craftsmanship and creativity.

The purpose of this Blog is to rile and stir the masses to filter the dross and value the truth. It is also to hold me accountable to my own principles and beliefs.

Arguements are welcome. Agreement is cherished.