A pizza by any other name...

The ad above is from Life Magazine, November 5, 1965. It's for Jeno's Pizza.

Do you remember this stuff?! Sweet jimminy, can you imagine THAT (look at the photo on lower right) passing as pizza?! More like Ragu® on a Ritz®!

Well, "back in the day", Jeno's pizza-in-a-box was high livin', I'm sure. Today? Pizza just ain't pizza without sixty pounds of cheese and enough grease to light up Chicago. Jeno's tomato-stained disk is a far cry from the franchise-fueled fill-fest of today.

But - and this is coming from a guy who's been a victim of hundreds of pizza photo shoots - the strange thing is that someone, somewhere, looked at that photo and thought, "Yeah. That's a goooood-lookin' pizza. Let's use THAT one. Yeah. That one. It'll be great!"

And someone else pinned, "Oh yeah! It's makin' me hungry just lookin' at it!"

Reality is relative. Makes ya'wonder what people 40 years from now are going to be thinking when looking at food photography from today. It's far better to look back on the paltry pizza of 1965 and think, "Is that all there was?!?" than fast-forward to 2049 and know that some starving, post-apocalyptic shelter dweller is salivating over an old Pizza Hut flier.

Bah. We're modern Romans. We should be happy that we don't have to spear Mastodons for food and clothing.

It's actually a great time buy.

Just to be fair...and honest, this current "economic climate" is a great time for customers, clients and patients.

I mean...geez. People are freakin' grateful for business and gratitude does amazing things to people's attitudes, loyalty, productivity...

Now is a great time to buy - what we need - and reward those who service those needs with loyalty and enthusiasm.

Note: From a Sadvertising reader: "Ahhh, never thought about it that way. Would probably explain why I even had great customer service from my health insurance company this morning!"

Why don't they just buy the Target® logo?

The scan above is a letter sent to ex-employees laid-off by Microsoft.  The letter involves overpayment of their severance pay, and Microsoft wants the money back.

Whether Microsoft has a right to get their money back is another subject - the point here is that this letter points to a corporate culture that has low regard for how people relate to brands.  Or, in the words of Dale Carnegie, "How to Win Friends and Influence People."

They had the time to create, formalize and establish bureaucratic processes, but managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of success by not sending this letter:

Dear employee:

We screwed up and overpaid your severance.  It gets worse - you'll have to pay taxes on it, too.

So, you can either keep the money and do with it what you think is best or you can send $xxx.xx back and we'll get a new statement out to you.

Personally?  I'd keep the cash.  Spend it on something cool (not iTunes) and get this economy rolling.  Ok?

Bill Gates

Sweet jiminy - they could have had a PR bonanza.

Put that candy down this instant. you don't know where it's been!!

With all the talk of doom lately, I thought I'd clean out the cupboards - in case room had to be made for dried goods, ammunition, zombie repellent...and in the process, found a peculiar piece of candy left over from Halloween.

It's a "Gummy Body Part."

Hmmm.  Hmmmm.  Hmmmm.  

When the kids asked me to identify it, I just...didn't know quite what to say. Knowing they wouldn't be satisfied with a, "Well, I just don't know" I told them it was a spleen.

That answer seemed to do the trick, but I have emailed the Frankford Candy Company to get the official response.

The candy was manufactured in China.  I wonder, if I was a slave laborer, grinding 96 hours a week in a candy factory, what would I think about to get me through the day?

Oh well.  Back to work.  

Hmmm.  Wonder what flavor it is...

The fat lady sang...no...it sounded like...gas.

According to The News (your source may vary), GM is tossing brands to keep itself running. In case you're wondering how to feel about this, you should feel sad - but not for the brands themselves or for a venerable American institution. No, feel sad for the legion of advertising, marketing, PR and communications leaders who hitched their hearts, minds and souls to these defunct wagons.

Having been on all three sides - client, creator and manager - of product development and promotion, the only constant in this business is the gut-slicing humility that will prove even the most confident assertions WRONG.

Another reason not to trust the 60s. Or turtles.

The spot above is a National Association of Broadcaster's announcement circa 1965.

People tend to despair about popular culture - handwringing and fingerpointing how we've gone to hell in a handbasket and lamenting that our fall from clean living has probably gone too far.

Life was better, back then...or was it?!!

Sweet Jiminy, just as I was being Zombified by the stoner singing "BINGO," I awoke to realize that a turtle shot the kid!

WHAT?!?!

Oh well. It looks like he and the turtle made up...and the kid went on to learn that crime doesn't pay because of what he learned on television.

Good old days, my eye! Obviously drugs were not only plentiful, they were considered PRODUCTIVE.

FOOooOOOF!

The graphic above was sent in from a sadvertising reader who also happens to be an "ad guy" - it's an ad for a 70s/80s brand of clothing called "Cricketeer."  

I'm not the only person to blog this old ad.  The thing is as disturbing as it is brilliant.  Great idea hiring a contortionist model to prove the stretch and fit of a traditionally stifling corporate uniform.  

But I wonder - is there a shot with the guy holding a lighter?  Yeah yeah...you thought it too.

"Hey guys!  Gimme a match!  Quick!  Quick!....FOOOooOOOFF!"

Even better ad if they would have given the pants a flame resistant panel.  Then they would have finally created Church Clothes that every 13 year old boy would covet.

"Hey!  You've got fart pants!  Cool!"

Note:  A sadvertising reader commented that the ad promised that "anything you can do OUT of a suit, you can do IN a suit."   So that leads me to wonder if there was anyone who wondered, "Gee. I sure wish I could get my head near my butt while I'm wearing my office clothes."

Oh bruther.

Apple does it again

The creative geniuses behind Apple Computers have created another brilliant campaign trashing Microsoft - this time, Microsoft's "R&D" project called "Songsmith."

Songsmith is a Microsoft software product that writes songs for people! Simply sing into the microphone, and Songsmith adds tinny, Teletubby music to the background! "Dumb!" you say. Yep. And what a way to parody this product than to create an infomercial about a hapless ad guy who gets inspiration when his daughter invents and sings a White Middle Class Anthem into her computer.

FUN-NEE! What a parody!

"Microsoft, huh? So it's pretty easy to use?" Hee-haw! Kind of like, "Pet weazel, eh? So it's pretty good with kids?"

BREAKING NEWS: Uh-oh! Sorry. I guess all this is real!

insert jaw-drop, long pause, chilling of the blood, wide-eyed amazement, shock and horror)

Wow...I guess we can expect Christ's return any day now and just like the bumper sticker says, "...boy is He pissed."

In all seriousness, Microsoft should create a software that makes us all software engineers.  We just turn on our computer, open an application and VIOLA!  It works!  

Smoopid.

The graphic above is a new product being sold - and discounted - called "Smittens." 

It's hard to imagine what I'd say if a prospective client walked in with these.  Probably, "Oh my gawd."  But that's beside the point.

The potential liability here is huge.  Can you imagine walking along the forest trail with your Sweetie and suddenly a huge Grizzly Bear comes a'galloping...and now, you have huge decisions:

A. Which direction do you run?

B. Who's going to end up being food?

Well, on the other hand (PUN!) "Smittens" would make snowball fights more interesting.

And, if the relationship ever goes sour, you have a nifty elbow warmer.

These things could be huge on the Cage Fighting circuit, but the name would definitely have to change.

Thank you to a sadvertising reader for the tip. :)

What does a Brand Manager do?

The above video is from an 80's "Christian" rock band called Sonseed. Don't watch the video with food in your mouth or else you'll wreck your monitor. And if you're sucking on jawbreakers, point your head down or the explosive force of disbelief could kill someone.

Anyway...

Of course, fashion comes and goes - in the 80's, these folks might have been cutting edge. Had this video broken out on MTV, kids today might be jammin' out to Christian Ska & hairspray instead of Rap & bling. Thank God they're not.

Intentions had to be good - the dude on the Les Paul actually had a cool little riff. But a bouncy reggae tune about Jesus being a Canadian Mountie that "always gets His man" was as goofy then as it is now. Unfortunately, no one from God was there to say, "Whoa! Stop! Repent!"

This post is to all the Brand Managers out there who need Inspiration that their mission is real, vital and good. If you know of a Brand Manager, Creative Director and PR exec, forward this on, with a note of encouragement to keep the Faith.

Treat your products, your communications, your Brand as if you were on a Mission from God. Because if you don't, you could have Hell to pay.

PS - Anyone got a scripture reference for a Jesus that will "...zap me any way He can"?


NOTE: A Sadvertising reader pointed out that Sonseed is listed on Wikipedia.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sonseed
An interview with the Bass player is posted on a link at the bottom of the page (he sounds like a pretty cool guy, btw). Unfortunately, the drummer died from choking on a sandwich.