I want my money back, Chevy.

The spot above is from a Chevy campaign.  It's designed to be a take-off of the once-popular show, "The Office."  It's a well produced, well acted, well directed bit of video.

But it sucks as a television commercial for a car company.

Why do ad-people do this crap?  And by "this crap" I mean this kind of oblique creative that has nothing to do with the product or the customer virtues...but instead, placates a Director's "vision"???

Catch a clue - American car companies have been RUN OVER by the Japanese, the Germans, the Koreans...and now FIAT, (Fix It Again Tony) is trying to come back to the U.S. car market.

And why are these OTHER nations' car companies so successful?  Because our car companies SUCK.  So much so that the fat cat 1%'ers had to show up in Washington D.C. a couple years ago and ask for a loan.  From you & me.

And them furriners make better cars, too.

Instead, we get high-concept barf like this - making dealers look ridiculous, not talking about the product and comparing themselves to a show that casts a cynical pal across the typical workplace.

Grrr.

We're not teaching (I mean ad schools, mentors, etcs) the Craft any more.  Instead, I get the impression that the next crop of Ad People are simply frustrated Lucas's who realize they'll never make Star Wars.  Instead, commercials will do.

Ok, Chevy.  Gimme $15K and I'll make you a kick ass commercial.

You're not listening.

And that's why I drive Mazdas, Porsches and Hondas.

"Where we goin' honey?"

The spot above is for Nissan.  They're launching "5 All-New Models."

And they're driving blind.

Yeah, I get the subtleties - Nissan is proud of their new models but can't quite release the details so they build the buzz by showing busy Americans sparked by the promise of New.

"Gary?  I got it!  This is what we do.  We keep our Media up by showing the cars we can't show...draped...by...a cloth!  And we'll show the good Folk seeing them drive by...reassured by the promise of all-things-Nissan!"


"Approved.  Now, getting back to your request for time-off next Tuesday...!"

Except.

If you & me (good Folk that we are) saw a car driving down the block draped in white cloth we'd call 911.  The imaginative among us might shout, "THE DEAD!  THEY DRIVE!"  But for the most part, we'd freak out - not smirk approvingly like the Talent did.

Look.  Driving cars that are wholly draped through neighborhoods is not exactly cheap.  I bet it cost Nissan at least $900 in extra animation time...at least I think so.  Gawd-forbid they did that for real.

But the lame creative tells me two things.  1.  Nissan didn't bring their A-team in on the 5-new-car-Creative.  2.  Nissan didn't ask their legal team the ramifications of showing their cars riding through suburbia cloaked in white sheets.

So.

Did you see the Mazda spot?