The Hell Panda! Merry CHRISTMAAAARRRRGH!

Is a product "Sadvertising"?  Yes.  It is when it scares the wits out of your child.

This little gizmo found its way into Thing 3's stocking.  A cute little Panda keychain (Thing 3 owns no keys, btw) with - what's this little button here?  Let's just push it...

WWLAAAAH!  WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!  Possessed Panda from the Underworld!?

"Daddy!  Make the bad Chinese exporter stop!  Make him stah-ah-ah-ah ahhhhhp! (inhale, WAHHH!)"

Or maybe it's a carefully disguised self-defence device.

Anyway, this piece of evil has got to go before Thing 2 figures it'd be fun to sneak to school and freak out the playground.

What happens in the Caymans, stays in the Caymans.

The scan above is an ad taken from last month's Redbook(?)  Of course, the ad is to promote tourism to the Cayman Islands.

Aside from being grammatically incorrect*, the headline promises: "Where once in a lifetime happens everyday."   I hope not.

Firstly, swimming with Stingrays is pretty cool.  For having the ability to kill Wildlife Experts like Steve Irwin, they're rather professional and only envenomate people when molested.

So, why does it appear that Mom is getting zapped out of her mind because of Dad's reckless and (in many countries) deviant behaviour?

I guess for the two kids, the Caymans will live up to the promise.  Dad's in jail for life and mom's in a coma.

*Every day.  Two words, not one.

Chocodooby. My Christmas gift to Ad People.

The ad above is an old one, but I still remember the first time I saw it years ago.  Since then, I've been jamming pipe cleaners soaked in gasoline through my sinuses in an effort to clean my brain.

Naw.  Just kidding.   This is my Xmas gift to all in the Biz who are struggling right now with that Genius idea and the Faith that the client will buy it.  Rise up, oh hopeless, oh cynicized, oh beaten-down Creatives.  It can happen.  You can sell anything you set your mind to.

Including a giant gibberish-speaking testicle that sells food and toys.

Thank goodness Europe has socialized medicine.  If this would have aired-big in the United States, it could have brought down the system in a single "Weeeeeee!"

"Doctor!  This...this...this horde!  They keep clawing at their eyes!  What do we do?!"

"Barricade, nurse.  And head to the heliport, stat!"

PS - Kinder Eggs® are the BOMB.  And I want that airplane.

A big drink of Cigar Box

A sadvertising reader sent this to me.  "Do wine descriptions count as Sadvertising?"

Sweet jimminy on a stick, they sure do!

Melange Noir - 2007


Tasting Note:  Aromatic ripe berries and spice marry with light cedar notes.  A well rounded palate of black and cigar box leads to lingering tasted oak on the finish.


In other words - this plonk tastes like burnt wood.  Order the Crown & Coke.  There should be a licensing process before allowing people to use words in public, don't you think?

"...black and cigar box leads to lingering..."

[slaps forehead]

[again]

Thank you, sadvertising reader!