A BLAST to your FACE! Yeah!

The scan above is a direct mail piece I received yesterday.  It's for a new Schick® razor that I'll be trying tomorrow morning, for free!  Yay!

But don't be surprised if I'm forever changed by the experience.  In fact, I'm a little scared (but I'm going through it because Fear is bad and it's not going to cost me any money).

Poor Schick® - they've struggled at being #2 to Gillette forever.  Maybe it's the lack of slotting fees, vibrating blades or Sicilian connections but it sure isn't lack of trying, hence the giveaway.  And I'm "in" - the kids have been warned that this afternoon is "Trip to Target® day!  Yay!"  (collective groan response).

Or it could be their weird Creative.

Firstly, their slogan, "It's like a blast of hydration to your face!™"  This has to have been thunk up by women because to a man, a blast of hydration to the face is followed by a charge and a right hook to the kidney. It's the law of summer water fights.  And any self-respecting man who rubs his cheeks after shaving complaining of, "Hydration issues" is probably too weenie to be trusted with sharp metal anyway.

Bah. I know a man who spent a week in a WW2 jungle and he shaved every day using a dull razor, skin oil and rain water.  I can only imagine the dumbfounded stare he'd give me if I asked, "Bill, how did you deal with facial hydration while you were behind enemy lines?"

Weirder yet is the ™ mark - clearly, some Creative Director thought, "No one's gonna steal that slogan from us, it's just too good!"  Good luck on the "blast to face" brand extension.

Anyway, secondly, the OTHER slogan is even more thought provoking - "Free your skin®."  This one is ® too.

Mirror check.  Stare deeply at our parched cheeks and repeat after me:  "My skin needs to be freed."  From the rigid confinement of muscle tissue?

I guess those Schick™ razors are pretty sharp!

Maybe this is where the Hydration comes in?

Note:  A Sadvertising reader - a 90 year old man, no less, just responded to me with this:

      

One day I read where using water was just as good and a lot less expensive.  Remembr, I grew up during the Great Depression.

Well, I started shaving in the shower with water pouring over my face keeping it real wet as I made strokes with my razor.  It worked.  No pain.  Good shave, no delayin trips to the hotel gift shop.  I still do it.  I have not used any kind of shaving cream i in 50 years.  Also,  I dry my razor after using and change blades about once a month.

Not sure this would be satisfactory for a man with a real fast-growing, heavy growth of facial hair, but it works for me.  I shower, shave and exercise in the shower every morning  (hip squats and toe-touching)  Just became 90.

Depressing?

The ad above is for "Abilify" - it's a drug that - apparently - helps depression drugs work better.

This post came from a suggestion of a Sadvertising reader.  Typically, this blog is uproariously funny and I wallow in the accolades of "Ha ha" like a media buyer rolling in bonus spots. Or a pig in mud.  You pick.

But, this ad isn't so much a lampoon of a Creative, Art or Copy director as it is to how little is known about Depression and how to treat it.  How do we know?  Read the copy.

"Approximately 2 out of 3 people being treated for depression still have depression..."

The sadvertising reader asked, "So, 66% of depression treatments aren't working?!"

Now I know where all the burned out Ad people go...product development for Big Pharma.  With Media the way it is now days, they're probably looking at a 33% hit rate and thinking it's like Direct Mail in the 80s all over again.

Happy Days!

PS - I just had an idea.  Why not stuff $5 bills into the bottles?  Just imagine the Focus Group on that one - "So, how did you feel when you found a bunch of money in your bottle of MegoFlux?"  "I felt...great!"  "Whoa! 10 for 10!  Call the FDA...and the Copywriters!"

Yes.

The photo above was taken at a trade show.  I know it's "for real" because I took the photo.

Folks, I'm here to tell ya' - it's that easy.  You know that famous silicone lawsuit of a few years back?  Pointless.  Needless.  You babes needed only Chesty Chewing Gum.

And you know, the code was buried there all along - Mastication (for chew)  Mastos (Greek for breast)... geez.  This is like the Bible Code only happier!

Being a victim of the upper-Midwest, I knew by experience that the more women chewed, the bigger their boobs got...but so did their butts.  And their ankles.  I've seen'em at pizza buffets, chewin' and chewin'...

However the Natural Burst Company has the magic numbers dialed in - reference the nubile (at last, a reason to write 'nubile'!) woman who is obviously placing her faith in Chesty.  Let's hope this is a "before" shot.

Level 4! All the way!

The video above is for the "i-JoyRide Exerciser."  It's a clip from a Canadian shop-at-home television show.

Go ahead - click Play.   I'll wait.

[Twiddles thumbs, whistles]

So.  Wha'dja think?

Two quotes made me think.  The first one was:  "This is been a great thing for my boys and I to do when they get home from school..."  Yeah.  And as soon as your boys bring home a buddy or two, you'll have them lined out the front door.  "Hey.  Let's go and watch Billy's mom exercise some more!"

The second one was pertaining to having guests over for dinner and inviting them to ride the i-JoyRide.  Certainly - especially if you're also demoing how to clean vomit out of carpet.

Want more?  (hint:  go to :50)  For some reason it just makes more sense with a Brit accent.