Written with Real Fruitiness-ness.

The ad above was placed by Kellogg's for it's Pop•Tarts® snack-things.  It's in this month's Family Circle.

The Art Direction here is rather good.  It caught my bloodshot eye anyway.  I bet it gets almost as much attention as "What your refrigerator says about your sex life" and "Ten ways to feed your family for less than a dollar a day."

However, notice the headline.  Now, everyone knows that Pop•Tarts are about as nutritious as white bread dipped in Vodka.  So when I read, "Baked with real fruit" my BS meter started gurgling.  And sure enough, there at the bottom ('cuz Kelloggs is big enough to have lawyers on staff) was the clue - a disclaimer.

Here it is:

*Filling made with equal to 10 percent fruit.

Read it again.   Now read it again.  Ok, one more time.

You're confused aren't you.  Go ahead admit it - there are religious prophecies worded with greater clarity than that.  And after reading the disclaimer, the headline takes on a whole new meaning - "Baked WITH real fruit" could mean that Kellogg's pulled an office chair next to the assembly line, set an apple on it and called it Truth.

See, Kelloggs could have written, "Fruit filling contains 10% fruit."  or  in the case that each flavor had a different percentage for fruit (as if Wild Grape would have wild grapes anywhere, anyway) "Fruit content may vary."

But no, they wrote:  Filling made with equal to 10 percent fruit.

It's like they're referring to some other ethereal substance that is not fruit but can be equated with fruit.  At least 10% of fruit.  Ack.  My head hurts.

Whatever, Kellogg's slogan is "Made for Fun®"   Well, maybe made for equal to 10 percent fun.  More or less.  Sort of.

Leaving tracks.

The picture above is the lid from a container of Blue Bunny ice cream.  Blue Bunny ice cream is pretty good ice cream.  Of course, even bad ice cream is pretty good.  Unless its meatloaf ice cream.  That's not so good.  But anyway...

"Bunny Tracks®" ice cream, as a flavor, is pretty good.  It's got, "Vanilla Flavored Ice Cream with Thick Fudge and Peanut Butter Caramel Ribbons, Chocolate Covered Peanuts and Peanut Butter Filled Chocolate Bunnies."

So why give it a poopy name?  And I suspect last-day-on-the-job art direction.

I'll assume the brown smear across the mound of ice cream is the Bunny Track?  If it is, that bunny has dysentery and shouldn't be anywhere near food.  Or maybe those lumps are the Bunny Tracks®...if so, I bet that bunny can run a heck of a lot faster now that it's dropped 10% of its body weight on the spoon.

Being fair, cutting through product clutter is a roll of the dice.  The reward of success is like Vegas - big enough to try, but the last statistic I read on new-product introductions is that 19 out 20 fail.  Even understanding that Bunny Tracks is probably a promotion product, scatological tactics are a sign that something in the Creativity Department needs to be flushed.

Even stranger is that Personals - the brand line for this particular product - appears to be aimed at women.  Maybe I'm hangin' with the wrong group of gals, but they don't find dookie appealing at all.

"Bunny Tracks is Sadvertising for the the same reason Boeing doesn't name its passenger airplanes "Lawn Dart" or Estee Lauder doesn't sell "Meatloaf" perfume.

Geez.  Rocky Road sounds rather upscale about now.


UPDATE:  Two Sadvertising readers have responded - one said SHE almost bought some for her husband.  Then another let me know about Pig Trail ice cream.  I'd imagine Pig Trails are somewhat more substantial than Bunny Trails.