An American Revolt-ing.

The graphic above is a screenshot of Chevrolet's website, taken this morning.  Regardless how one feels about watching the American auto industry do its slow-mo crash into a brick wall, it's apparent Chevy thinks we're more Dummy than Customer - notice the "News and Offers" section.

The verbiage provides a deep clue into their marketing and PR strategy.  One word:  GUILT.

"Support the U.S. auto industry.  Learn how you can help."  The button underneath is labeled, "Take action >"

What?!  "Learn how (I) can help"??  "Take action"?   Chevy isn't trying to market their cars - they're embracing a Cause.  Next is probably a telethon where the Chairman of GM does a morale boosting visit to empty showrooms and packed repair shops...

"When you give to General Motors, your money goes to the caring of thousands of irrelevant automobiles across the nation.  Like Suburban here - only 3 years old, once advertised at $60,000, now only $19,995..."

How Chevrolet can keep their slogan, "An American Revolution" while their leadership is asking for public money is way beyond ironic. 

Using guilt to control subjects may work for cults and communists, but a car company?!   

Bah. Chevrolet's making me look like a bloomin genius. For all their website talk of "Green" "Revolution" and "Red Tag Sales", have you noticed anything missing?

Cars. There isn't a single picture of an automobile on the Chevy website! Imagine a Car Company selling cars.  Hmmm.  From the looks of things at Chevrolet, the idea is positively Revolutionary.

You think ONE is great?!

The graphic above is a scan of an IBM ad circa 1952.  The copy explains that the IBM computer is so efficient and powerful, "it's like having 150 EXTRA engineers" available on call to save the day. 

Ah, yes.  150 floating heads, 300 disembodied hands and enough Anal-Retention to count the number of grains of sand in Florida.

Actually, this is a darned effective ad and definitely a product of the Marketing Department.  Believe me, there's nothing more horrifying to a Marketing person than a wonk who can't stir coffee without trial, error and a resultant system and process. 

The day 150 of them were replaced by a box that could be jammed into a dark closet had to be huge.  "Le'me do that ad, le'me do that ad, le'me do that ad, pleeeeeeaaasseee???!"

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For your engineering pleasure, here's a list of common Engineer rejoinders, by discipline:

Chemical engineer:  "You're doing it wrong, and I'd tell you but you wouldn't understand."

Electrical engineer: "Do what you want, but don't blame me if you die."

Nuclear engineer: "If you don't stop, we could all be dead. Theoretically. And I think I'm right about that. At least that's what we currently believe.  Unless it changes."

Software engineer: "(Sigh)...just let me do it."

Mechanical engineer:  "Go ahead.  I'll watch and laugh while you screw it up."

Geological engineer: "Hey!  You could at least ASK me!"

Systems engineer:  "You're doing it way too much!  Simplify! Simplify!"

Bio engineer:  "What you're doing is a process.  We have no idea what will happen.  I will take it from here and ask for help when it gets out of control."

Genetic engineer:  "Some day, none of us will have to do that any more, you know."

Civil engineer: "If you get the pizza, we'll get the beer!"

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NOTE TO ENGINEERS:  This is a good natured poke.  It's just a joke.  Funny - you know?  Like when HR people talk about helping their kids with their upcoming science project.  Or like when George Lucas keeps putting sound effects in an outer space environment.  Elsewhere in society, teasing people that are "liked" is relatively common.  This is one of those instances.  It's appropriate to laugh. Here.

All that being stated, Marketing people know they're functionally useless until people like you give us something to do with our "talents."  

Note:  A sadvertising reader has noted that all the engineers are clean shaven white guys with male pattern baldness (MPB).  Yikes.

Another note: The photo below was provided by a sadvertising reader who is, in fact, an engineer. He wishes to let the world know that Engineers can be colorful, courageous and color blind. He sends his well wishes to engineer brothers everywhere.

Another note:  A sadvertising reader - and also an ENGINEER, stated that he'd rather have 150 'talking heads' than a 'gray box' any day as the human mind is a better computer than...a computer.

Well, DUH!

The clip above is a commercial for EAS's energy drink, "Myoplex." It features QB Brady Quinn.

Interesting concept - show Brady stepping onto a treadmill to be transported into an apocalyptic wasteland where he becomes a Team of One, pushing the limit, going extreme to get to...the can!

Must be some stuff, that Myoplex - you'd expect when Brady finally gets to the goal, he'd take a big ole'gulp and sigh, "Ahhh! Myoplex!"  Or a lip-smackin', "Wow! Myoplex hits the spot!"  Gee whiz, maybe a "Whoo, doggie!"

But no, Brady turns to the camera and deadpans, "Now, I'm done."

Or is it, - "Now, I'm dumb." ???

Go ahead - watch it again.  Your ears are tainted forever.

"Ah man...I ran 5 frickin miles and all I got was this can of nutri-goo?! I am SO dumb!"

Anyway, the basic confusion here is so obvious, we have to assume one of two things:  1. The spot was created, produced and placed without input or collaboration from others.  Sometimes that works.  Sometimes, it's dumb.  Or 2., the producers knew of the Done/Dumb mumble and decided to cast faith in the old adage, "Bad publicity is better than no publicity!"  If so, tell that to George Bush.

Bottom line:  EAS didn't need to gamble on controversy to get publicity.

Additionally, isn't the phrase, "Now I'm done" anathema to an athlete? Maybe he's hinting at retirement - surely with his mumble, he'd have a tough time as a sports announcer. Instead, he could have tried a career in Comedy by belching, wiping his face and growling, "This is goooood shiiip!"

Either way, this spot is authentically "Sadvertising" with the dumbest thing being that the spot hasn't been taken off  YouTube.  

Thanks to a Sadvertising reader for the tip.

"Why does daddy drink so much after work?"

The ability to generate new ideas, to find new solutions to old problems, to provide places of expression for other's gifts - these are the rallying cries for those called to "Create."

And so, "Creativity" is not only a calling, but also a burden of responsibility toward humankind.

Henry Ford, we thank you for the automobile.

Jobs&Woz, we thank you for the Macintosh computer.

Barack Obama, we thank you for energizing political Change.

Rachel Carson, we thank you for giving Environmentalism emotion and passion.

However, to the creators of "Wonder Sauna (long) Hot Pants," we stop, gasp...and ultimately curse the indelible image above that's been seared into our brains.

But the ridiculousness of the Wonder Sauna (long) Hot Pants (WSHP) isn't the point of this post. That the WSHP is no longer attaching itself to hopeful, but nonetheless stupid people is proof that Capitalism takes care of itself.

What's important here is - "What happened to the models?"  Specifically, the dude.

Can you imagine getting the call from your agent, "Hey. Gary.  Uh...got a gig here.  Pays cash. Can you make it next Friday at 3?"

"Uh, maybe. What is it?"

"Uh.  Well, it's called a Wonder Sauna Hot Pant...thing.  Hey, listen can you make it or not?!"

"Sure. Baby needs new shoes, ya'know!" (laughs.)

(laughs) "Uh, yeah!  Gotta provide for the kids!  Uh, anyway, here's the address..."

Then, some stone-faced art director hands you this...this...BALLOON TOY of an adult diaper and minutes later, you're in your underwear being told to SMILE!

We simply have to find this guy and see if he's ok.  Let him know that there are people who care.  Who can look past the past.  Who can strengthen and encourage.

The chick?  Ah.  She's prolly fine.  Women have been wearing weird crap since beginning of time.  (Anyone remember Leg Warmers?)

But the dude...the poor, sad dude.  Creativity has done him wrong.

"Oh miracle of the Internet, we beseech thee to locate Mr. WSHP and tell him all is forgiven."

PS- A sadvertising reader commented that it was easy for me to take a "cheap shot" against the 70's.   Ok.  I accept.  But gee whiz...look at the thing!  

Step away from the Pharmacy Tech...slowly...calmly...

The graphic above is a banner ad for www.degrees.info - a website that is supposed to be a clearinghouse for "online degrees programs."  

So many choices...hmmmm.  Thankfully, yellow cartoon faces guide the choice!

Golly.  Teachers sure seem to have fun...and those Graphic Designers apparently have quite the attitude...maybe a Medical Billing Specialist?  They look rather pleasant, almost apologetic. 

"Well Mr. Smith, it does appear that the mammogram fee on your Annual Physical was indeed a mistake.  We'll reduce the charge by 50% and inform your insurance provider."

And if I wanted to become a Criminal Investigator, I could shoot my eye out, get a cool eye patch and an equally cool story to go along with it!

"Arrrggg!  Me thinks this car ye be driven is stolen BOOTY and I've come to claim me treasure in the name of the STATE!"

However, there's something about becoming a Pharm Tech that just doesn't seem to be much of a career move.  Evidently, Pharmacy Technician's don't get the same job satisfaction as Social Workers or Teachers.  You'd think they'd be able to slide a few Valium® off the counter for a little break-time mellowing...