Pretty-much sad...vertising.

Last week, "the worst gig in advertising" came up in conversation and we all pretty much agreed that it'd be Yellow Pages sales.

But, they have a niche - people without computers or cell phones.

Gotta have a niche these days, eh?

Now THAT'S an attractive box!

The ad above is for Orbit gum.  It came from.... I can't recall right now.  But that's not important.

Neither is that this ad is a thickly veiled poke at sex - there are at least three such references here.  Yawn. What's truly sad here is that the ad is about...printing.  Ink on stock, look-for-the-union label, take it to the die-cutter PRINTING.

(I'd insert crickets chirping here, but they've died of neglect.)

Sweet jimminy - are things so boring at the Wrigley Company that the ad people have to strap a corset on their spokesmodel to brag about the printing? Make no mistake about it - the compelling message here is that Orbit has a printed box.  In this case, a green one with little scab-like things on it.


"Gary.  What'cha chewin?"
"Orbit"
"Day-um!  You must'a made sales quota this week!  What's it like?!"
"Well, you know...(clears throat) they DO make an attractive box." (snicker)

Wait!

This just hit me.  You don't think that Orbit customers were standing there in the C-store gum aisle, trying to figure out what to do with their box, do you?

"Wm Wrigley Customer Service, how may I help you?"
"I'm standin' here...wonderin'...like...what is this?!"
"It's our Outer Wrapper™!  Remove it to find something surprising underneath!"

(crickets chirping...)

"Wow!  Four color, two PMS colors and an emboss!"
"Surprised?"
"Hell yeah!"
"Tell your friends about our box,'k?"
"oooooh yeah..."

The Mother of Invention.

The graphic above is for the "Easy-Out" eyeball repositioning tool.  Now you know: there's enough of a market 'out there' for a company to market a gizmo that allows doll lovers to change/reposition their toy's plastic eyes.  Free-enterprise is a powerful force, eh?

However.

You know...I'm sitting here...trying hard to write...but something about that photo just keeps distracting me...

Ok.  I figured it out.  It's the brilliant way the Art Director has us notice the company - "Bloomers*n*Bows."  I'd have never thought to use a one-eyed mutant baby to call out the company logo, that's for sure.

But, to quote a client, "That sure makes the ad 'Pop!' doesn't it?"

(sigh)